I have serious problems becoming sexually aroused without fantasizing about certain BDSM-like scenarios. I've been having fantasies of that sort for a really long time- years before I even knew what BDSM was- so I was thinking that my problem might just be that I'm used to these types of fantasies and only fairly recently started trying to use other means to get myself off, so to speak. However, I haven't noticed any improvement with this problem. I really don't want to be this limited in my sexual experiences. Do you have any suggestions for me? I've heard some things about how seeking therapy might help, but I don't know that much about what this would entail.

I have been with my boyfriend for about three months and I am not sure if I'm ready to have sex. How do you really know if you're ready? We have talked about sex before and he wants to do it but I'm just not sure if I want to or not. We have done other things and have also talked about those and if it felt good for us. It was just a little bit awkward talking about it with him at first, then I got more comfortable. He's not pressuring me into doing it, I just want to make sure I'm absolutely ready because I don't want to regret it.

There is another question I would like to ask. If you have been masturbating for quite some time (by rubbing my clit), and I mean a long time, will I only be able to get pleasure from rubbing or will having sex feel good too? I have read somewhere that you can get used to one thing and only be able to feel pleasure from it. My boyfriend has fingered me, it hurt a little at first but then it didn't. It's not that I hated it, but I also didn't get pleasure from it. I'm scared that I won't be able to get pleasure from anything else other than rubbing. Please help.