casual sex

Casual sex with a friend that didn't stay so casual.

Love'em and leave'em asks:

I've done a bad, bad thing. I lost my virginity about a year ago in my sophomore year in high school to my ex. Since then I've slept with a couple more guys including my best friend, J (I guess that's better than using his real name). J was a virgin until we were "together," but I found out afterward that he's has feelings for me for a while now. To tell the truth, I thought we were just screwing around and getting drunk together, and then it lead to sex. Now he's all clingy, romantic and, "we should be together for the rest of our lives" kind of crap. I hate romantic. I want to be friends again but he sees us either as a couple or nothing. I'm so screwed. What should I do to make him my best friend again?

We're newly married, had sex with our best friends and it was awful.

Kasey G asks:

I'm 18 and I recently got married a few weeks ago. Thus far we've been pretty happy and are also expecting our first child. A few days ago we had some friends over: his best guy friend and my best girl friend. I guess curiosity got the best of us all and I ended up making out with the girl... and then one thing led to another, before I knew it my husband was having sex with her! I was giving oral to his guy friend, trying not to cry and kill my husband and best friend! Afterwards they left and we were left feeling so empty. I know I'm not innocent but I just feel like him having intercourse was just WAY too much. Now that's all I can think about, and I'm so upset. I just really need some advice. I really dunno what to do.

How many partners do most people have in their lives, and is everyone serially monogamous?

Kalira asks:

I'm so used to seeing TV shows with the "bachelor" who constantly sleeps around and never has a partner, or the one who's looking for "the one" and falls in love and looses someone new every five episodes. And at school, I'm used to everyone dating for a week, then more or less switching partners, or randomly sleeping together.

My question is: How many partners do most people have in their life time? And do one-week stands count as a small relationship? How short can a relationship be, and how long can it before moving on and finding someone new becomes really hard? Can people be in committed, loving, polygamous relationships, or have different partners for different things (like someone else for especially rough sex you wouldn't want to subject a gentler emotional-lover to)?

How do I talk to my friend with benefits about safer sex issues?

Ashleigh asks:

I have a friends with benefits relationship. I was on the pill before we started this relationship and I had a STD test which was negative. When we got together we used condoms a few times and then we got in the habit of not using a condom. I haven't been with anyone else since I was with him, but he may have. I don't know how to ask him if he uses a condom if he is with another girl or if he has ever been tested. Do you have any ideas I can bring this up in a not nosy sounding or not an accusing way? I just want be safe and I want him to be too.

Would friends-with-benefits work for me?

mg2910 asks:

I've been confused about my sexual attraction to a guy I've liked for the past 2 years. He has always made it clear that he only wants sex from me, but he has no romantic feelings for me, and I've always been confused about how far I've wanted to go with something so unstable. Recently we started our first year at the same college, and I guess with the new freedom and everything I decided that I would try to have sex with him. In that attempt, I just couldn't allow myself to do that, cuz when it started to hurt more and I started thinking about did I want to permanently lose something that I can't have back. But now after the situation I feel like I regret that decision and I want to try again, because I can't stop thinking about it. How can I let him know that? And am I wrong for wanting to have sex with someone who clearly only wants me for sex? And is it bad that I felt uncomfortable discussing what I want to do with him? I've looked around your site, and I see that it doesn't have much information about friends with benefits? Is that because it's condemned?

Am I only able to have sex without emotions?

Peanut asks:

I have no reservations when I have casual sex. However when one of these flings turns into a relationship and things get serious I don't want to have sex with them anymore. It has happened with my last three boyfriends and has been the primary reason for my breakups. It feels like a normal relationship...we are best friends, we do almost everything together, I care about him tremendously, but I get scared when he wants to have sex. Why can I only have emotionally detached sex?

I only had unprotected sex once: could I be pregnant?

Brigitte asks:

This was my second time having sex with this boy we were like fuck buddies and hardly knew each other, we only had sex one time and I'm not on the pill I told him that. I heard that even when guys don't ejaculate they still have sperm in there cowpers gland or somthing and that comes out before ejaculation: is that true?

I'm also 2 weeks late, my friend who is pregnant thinks im preagnant because I have some of the symptoms she has, ummm clear discharge, my breasts somtimes gets shocks of pain atleast 5 to 6 times a day, and thats just to name a few. Can i be pregnant? Is it to early to tell?

How (or should) I give this boy a handjob?

Tasha asks:

A guy friend whom I really like asked me to have sex with him. I haven't yet, but he asked if I would give him a handjob. I have never given one. So how do I?