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breakup

Sixteen and Struggling

Badgyalania asks:

Hi I'm 16 years old and I'm a lesbian. I've been in a relationship with a female for a year and 4 months now, but it's hasn't been all happy and what not. We've had a lot of down falls mainly on her. She's lied to me about soooo much and has cheated on me more than 4 times I'm not sure the exact amount but its definitely more than 4. Our relationship isn't just a relationship we are best friends and it's really hard for us to walk away from eachother. So everytime I find something I give her another chance and she always says she's going to stop and fights for me to stay with her. I dont know what To do anymore I'm in love with her but it's not the same anymore everything we've gone through has changed our relationship and how we view eachother. So now I'm not sure what to do. Should I stay and see if it gets fixed or just give up and leave my best friend and first love. She also took my virginity by the way. She always try's to control me and I do the same but the difference is I listen and she doesn't she just lies and lies. I'm so stuck and I'm becoming depressed and she isn't being any help she think I need to just move on from what she did and continue the relationship but I don't think it's that simple. There's so much more but I'm gonna leave it at that.

How can I break up without hurting my boyfriend's feelings and ending our friendship?

hermitsunited asks:

I've been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now. We were good friends before we started dating. He's one of my closest friends, but I no longer feel attracted to him and don't think we should date anymore. I don't think he feels the same way - I think he really likes me a lot and I feel really bad about ending our relationship even though I think it's the right thing to do since I don't feel the same way about it him anymore. He's the first person I've ever dated and I'm nervous about breaking up with him. Do you have any advice for how to break up with someone as compassionately as possible and preserve the friendship?

To Ditch and Be Ditched: Relationships, Friends, and Finding a Balance

Have you been forgoing time with friends to hang out with your significant other, or vice versa? Either way, read on for help in dealing with this sticky predicament.

I decided not to continue an LDR, but now I'm not so sure.

zombiess asks:

I have been in a long distance relationship for about 7 months. We were never official, but all the feelings were there between the two of us. Neither of us wanted it to end but we did so anyways, because of money and distance.

Now I regret it, and he's just doing what he thinks is right, not what he wants. We have so much in common and we both agreed when we are with each other it makes it all worth it. HELP! What do I do? How do I move on? He wants me to be the one he runs to, and he wants to be the one I run to. He also still wants to fly me out there and still see me. And we both say the two of us never kissing is hard to deal with. I'm at a loss.

STI Testing, Safer Sex Social How-Tos, Fresh Starts and a Bittervention

frenchiemathwhiz asks:

Heather: I have a question about STD testing, but it's together with a lot of other stuff, so I'm giving you some of the whole story.

My long-term boyfriend just broke up with me, seemingly out of the blue. We were together for several of the most tumultuous years of our lives—we dealt with so much stuff, I can't even describe it. We lived together, we lived apart, we did long-distance, we came back, we kept going. We stayed together through moves, parents condemning our relationship, changing universities, changing friends, changing careers. I feel really stupid being broken up about it; my personal philosophy has always been: no mourning over guys. Only stupid women do that. (Obviously there's some of my own internalized misogyny in there, but I'm also being practical. A woman mourning a man comes off as pathetic; a man mourning a women is soulful and sad. That's just the way it is.) But I did (bleech, sounds so gross) really trust him. I let him in my, like, inner circle of trust.

He just broke up with me because apparently he HAS to sleep with this other girl, and he couldn't even wait until he was going to see me in a few weeks. He started hanging out with this group of party guys and I kept saying it was changing him. He kept denying it—until it did. He just got his first job and then started freaking out: he started to get into drugs, to do all this stuff.

When the Time Comes

It's hard to say when things finally changed for me. All the pieces were there for a long time, waiting to fall into place, but I just wasn't ready to let go and watch them tumble down. The idea of having to put it all behind me scared me. The idea of losing such a close relationship. Of losing something so familiar.

When the Time Comes

It's hard to say when things finally changed for me. All the pieces were there for a long time, waiting to fall into place, but I just wasn't ready to let go and watch them tumble down. The idea of having to put it all behind me scared me. The idea of losing such a close relationship. Of losing something so familiar.

Tell me how to get him back. I'll do anything.

Michelle15 asks:

Hi, I'm 15 and I started acting hysterical after my break up. I really do love him and after talking to him, he still loves me. He also likes one of my closest friends. I believe this is gods test to see if we're meant to be and I practically begged him to go out with me but he still had said the same answer, "No." I don't know what to do. He wants me to like other guys and go out with them and he wants to like other girls and go out with them. I don't know what to do. I really want to be together again and I'm willing to do anything. We've tried our version of friends with benefits and I just got grounded. I want to be with him so bad and he's everything to me. He taught me how to love, he guided me through my dark times, he helped me through my depression and he broke up with me because of school and stress. Can you please help me get back together with him before summer break ends? Thank you so so so much!

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Feeling unhappy in or unsure about your relationship? Having problems you don't know how to work through, or don't even know if you should? We'll talk you through making these choices, including how-to's on conflict resolution and doing breakups better.

I'm so unhappy in our sex life, and he just doesn't understand.

jem18 asks:

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost a year now. We have been sexually active through our relationship and I have been wanting to try something new. It was hard for me to tell him, but I suggested that he at least perform oral sex on me because I don't always enjoy intercourse (and don't usually have an orgasm that way). He told me that oral sex is not something he is interested in doing but I perform it on him whenever we mess around. It makes me angry sometimes because I feel as though he receives variety in our sex life and I get the SAME one thing over and over again. I don't want to make him do anything he's not comfortable with because I want sex to be enjoyable for the both of us. We plan on being together for a long time and I don't know how to get him to understand. Some of the conversations even get a little heated. It makes me feel "creepy" that I get upset because of this. I feel as though all I can do is accept it but I don't want to feel dissatisfied with sex and resent him. I can't make him do it but if we are going to be in the long term relationship he says he wants so badly then am I just supposed to settle for what he wants to do with me sexually?

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