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body image

How do I make my erection last longer for intercourse?

funkykingston asks:

Hi guys: I'm a 15 year old male, not in a relationship, and really doubt I'll be having intercourse any time soon. However, given that I have the time, commitment and attitude for it I thought it might be a good idea to train myself to last longer for intercourse, so that when the time does come I feel, y'no, good about myself.

I've been masturbating with varying regularity for a bit less than a year now, so I know myself and my sexual responses. I'd also like to make it clear that I don't: a)feel unconfident and generally scared of intercourse from fear of inadequacy, b)have unrealistic ideas about what is 'normal' from pornography, or c)think that intercourse is the only 'real' sex, and that how long you can last is a measure of how good or 'manly' you are.

This said, I also know that improved ejaculatory control would be useful in the future to improve the amount of pleasure me and my future partners get out of intercourse, and starting now would likely be more effective. I try to masturbate with a relaxed attitude, and not in environments where I'm somehow pushed for time or otherwise stressed. I've read about a lot of techniques online, but given that 'premature ejaculation' is a problem so many people have a lot of anxiety about and there's obviously a huge amount of money to be made in convincing people that you have some miracle cure for their problem, I thought I'd ask you guys at Scarleteen about what sort of things actually work in the real world and what's just fantasy.

Can you tell me about inverted nipples?

Amanda asks:

I just stumbled onto this site and have found it really informative. But I was surprised to see that, while many people have posted their body image concerns, no one seems to have brought up inverted nipples. I have always felt self conscious about my nipples because they're inverted. Although my boyfriend loves me very much and I doubt he would care, I still have this fear inside that they don't live up to every male fantasy of boobs and what they're supposed to be, so I don't want him to see them. I would hate if he was disappointed by part of me. I am wondering if it is very common to have inverted nipples, and also if males find it unattractive. I know that there is surgery to change this, but I don't know if it is very healthy or a good idea, and I would rather let that be my last resort. I used to think maybe it would change during puberty, but I am 17 so I'm figuring that it won't be something I grow out of at this point. So, I guess what I'm asking is, can you tell me about inverted nipples?

Sex is no place to be dry.

Kristina asks:

How do you stay dry when having sex? I get so wet within 5 minutes.

Labia, discharge, and no periods...oh my!

Crystal asks:

I'm 16 and have noticed for a while the extremely large size of my labia, because of it I refuse to become sexually active. Every time I get asked out, I turn them down because of the fear they will see it and find it disgusting. All my friends are or have been sexually active so I don't feel like I can talk to them about it because they don't understand what it's like to be so self conscious of that area. I have been considering surgery but again that involves talking to my parents about it and admitting I have a problem with it instead of living my life as it is at the moment, in celibacy. Along with that problem, I also discharge more than I think any woman should. I spoke to a nurse about it before and she assured me it was normal, but again this just makes me feel worse. Also, to top that off I don't get periods! Yes, it seems odd, but they were always irregular and after going on the 3 month course of the pill to fix it, they stopped completely. It's now been 6 months gone and I have to have a blood test tomorrow which I am very scared of. Ignoring the period rant, is there any way I can reduce the amount of discharge I have? And would surgery be a good idea to reduce the size of me labia and do you know what the prices are like? Please help me.

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I'll be honest: I don't approve of cosmetic surgery. I think it's incredibly important to love and accept our bodies for what they are, and to extend that acceptance to everyone's body. To my mind, surgically altering your body solely for cosmetic reasons is neither loving nor accepting.

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Of love and skin

Anonymous asks:

I was born with a skin sickness called Neurodermatitis. I'm now 14 and so is my boyfriend, but I took a chance and told him why I have so many scars because he asked. Because of the sickness, I have the ugliest legs. I have purple spots, white spots, just scars upon scars upon scars. And there ALL OVER MY BODY. My boyfriend loves me very, very much and I do the same, but I'm worried about what he thinks about my body. I've never shown him what my skin looks like except my lower arms and upper chest (v-neck shirts, not topless). Will my body scare him to stop loving me?

I've washed, but my genitals still smell funny!

Anonymous asks:

After I've washed, my genitals are odor free but only for a few hours. I'm not sporty, so why is this?

Vulva, I hardly knew ye

Anonymous asks:

I don't know if I'm your average 20 year old. (virgin and only had one b.f.)I have never been able to insert a tampon correctly, nor have I ever looked at my own va-jay-jay. I recently shaved it for the first time. I really don't know what the call is for anything relating to my womanly junk, you know? I don't know if I should leave the hair down there, wax, or completely shave it all off. I don't know how to insert a tampon, and I am worried when it comes to sex it just wont fit. I even tried with some dildos and can't fit it in, but I don't even know if I'm doing it right. Please, please help me! Those pictures on the tampon box just don't work for me!

Why don't I self-lubricate enough?

Anonymous asks:

I am 22 and had my first sexual experience with my boyfriend 6 moths ago after a year of dating. We have a very nice relationship and love each other. I have taken pills and we always use a condom. For some reason, even though it doesn't hurt, many times I am very turned on and have natural lubrication but end up drying up completely after a few minutes. It is very frustrating for both of us because KY is not the same, plus I'm too young to be dry. I want to be with him and we make love at least 2 or 3 times a week. This problem has been going on for months now and it has been more noticeable lately. It has happened while I have been in and out of the pill. I feel we have enough foreplay, if not why do I start very wet? Is there any reason why this is happening? I don't see any signs or have ever had an infection... Can stressful situations in life bring this at all?

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