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So it's Saturday night, and here I am, drinking a soda, working the Scarleteen boards, and catching up on episodes of my favorite TV shows that I missed while I was out of town. I could be out on a date, flirting and eating a dynamite roll or maybe some chicken coconut korma, gathering up my bravery to give that good night kiss, but my most recent venture into the dating scene ended somewhat disappointingly when he met someone else while I was out of town. Bummer.Read more...
This is a quickie. But it was so fantastic, and here at Scarleteen we have so many young men who are so freaked out and upset when they ejaculate sooner than they'd like, that I had to race over here and link to it ASAP.
From the piece, by the wonderful Cory Silverberg:
...the idea of premature ejaculation presupposes that there is a clear end goal, and that you’re getting there too soon. It also presupposes that extending sex is an obvious goal of sex. If you’re ejaculating before you want to, or before your partner wants to, the first thing you ought to do is ask yourself, what is it that I want to extend? Is the sex I’m having good enough to want to make it last longer? Am I coming quickly because really, there’s not much to wait around for? And do I want the goal I set for sex to be one that requires a stopwatch to evaluate?
What if all you wanted from a sexual encounter was to feel good? If ejaculating prematurely feels bad then you’ve got a good reason to learn to control ejacul
When I was in about 5th grade my mom got me an American Girls book about puberty and the transition from girlhood to womanhood. It told me all about shaving, choosing fingernail polish, and eating well. And on one special page it told me about my period and how to put a tampon in. Me and my girlfriends each had our own copies and we referenced it like the Bible. I was one of the last of my friends to get my period and I remember wanting one so badly, complaining to my mother about my feeling left out.Read more...
I'm an 18 year old girl with almost no sexual experience. This weekend I fooled around with my boyfriend for the first time ever and realized something--I was getting wet, but not horny. I also realized I hadn't been horny at all in the past few months. Is something wrong with me? How do I get my sex drive back?
I'm 15 years old (almost 16) and have self harmed for almost two years, my method being cutting. I'm now getting help for my issues and am trying to get on the road to recovery. But I have the most awful scars all over my thighs and hips. My family and close friends are aware of what’s happening, but I don't know how comfortable I'd be with telling a partner. I broke up with my last boyfriend because I was terrified of him finding out. I was just worried that our relationship might get physical and he'd have to see. And I'd have to explain, which would then probably scare him off. He was a great guy, he wasn't in it for sex, and didn't expect any either. We got on great but I couldn't force him to have to deal with something like that. It wouldn't be fair on him.
I really want to get close to someone though, I'm all for the idea that you can have a great relationship without sex, and I wouldn't find it hard to get rid of someone pressuring me into doing something I don't want to do. But the problem is that I want to. I feel more than ready, and I'd like to share that kind of relationship with someone too.
But will I have to be doomed to a sexless life if these scars refuse to fade? Is a cutter good enough for anyone though?
Yesterday, after working my second job at the clinic, I was effectively kidnapped by my co-worker Gigi and her ten-year-old daughter Sophia, whom I adore. She calls herself Big Sophia around me, my pug (scroll down this page for a visual) being Little Sofia. We wound up driving from their place to my neighborhood for dinner, which is a pretty long haul. On the drive up, I sat in back with Sophia as she showed me how she plays cards on her Zune, shared her teen magazine with me, and put her headset on my ears to share her favorite music.
As I agreed that Paramore are, as she said, so super awesome and cool, I was reminded of my sense that when girls that age think you're the bomb, you really must be the bomb, and you very much feel as cool as the bands they like when they let you in. It's quite a gift.
At dinner, we sat together as she flipped through the magazine some more -- she still liked me even after insisting she hold my hand as we crossed a busy street, though she may wellRead more...
The last few weeks I've been contemplating if my labia are bigger than my ears.
My partner became aware that this was on my mind because every few days she'd hear me murmur, "You know, I think my labia are bigger than my ears!"
From the look on her face I could tell she was trying to picture what my labia looked like, and then she'd peer at my ears. "Surely not. Of course they're fabulous, but I don't think they're that big."
"But I mean, fully stretched out, not just dangling."
Then she'd say, "Yeah, they could be. Should we measure?"