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Deep down I think that sex is bad and wrong. What can I do??

Anonymous asks:

I've recently realized that I have some deep seated negative thoughts about sex. I feel that it's dirty, wrong and I'm bad if I have sex or use sex toys. I've always had some pain when I've had sex but I thought it was because I was nervous that it would hurt, so I would clench and it would cause pain. But I just got my first vibrator and I couldn't use it because I was clenching so hard that it hurt to use it. I realized that it's not that I'm scared of the pain, it’s that deep down I have the belief that if you have sex, or use sex toys, that you're a bad person and that it's not normal. I know that this is untrue, but it’s impacting my sex life enormously. How do I overcome my irrational fears?

I'm too ugly and fat for him and I can't take it anymore.

Anonymous asks:

I recently turned 24 and I have never been in a real relationship. I am in love with my best friend, with whom I have had a very interesting and painful 4 year friendship. He took my virginity at the age of 21, and he is one of 2.5 guys I have slept with; he is the only one I have hooked up with more than a couple times. He has cheated on two different girl friends with me, and he tells me he loves me but he has always been very clear that he will never be in a relationship with me. I have asked him a couple of times why. After a lot of beginning, he finally gave me list of everything that is physically and mentally wrong with me.

Veganism is good for the planet, but is it bad for my sex drive?

Jennifer asks:

I started a Vegan diet 40 days ago. I have been very careful with everything I have been eating as far as ingredients are concerned. Since the start of my diet I have had absolutely no interest in sex and now I have a yeast infection. I would appreciate any advice or input you may offer. Thank you for your time.

How do I make my erection last longer for intercourse?

funkykingston asks:

Hi guys: I'm a 15 year old male, not in a relationship, and really doubt I'll be having intercourse any time soon. However, given that I have the time, commitment and attitude for it I thought it might be a good idea to train myself to last longer for intercourse, so that when the time does come I feel, y'no, good about myself.

I've been masturbating with varying regularity for a bit less than a year now, so I know myself and my sexual responses. I'd also like to make it clear that I don't: a)feel unconfident and generally scared of intercourse from fear of inadequacy, b)have unrealistic ideas about what is 'normal' from pornography, or c)think that intercourse is the only 'real' sex, and that how long you can last is a measure of how good or 'manly' you are.

This said, I also know that improved ejaculatory control would be useful in the future to improve the amount of pleasure me and my future partners get out of intercourse, and starting now would likely be more effective. I try to masturbate with a relaxed attitude, and not in environments where I'm somehow pushed for time or otherwise stressed. I've read about a lot of techniques online, but given that 'premature ejaculation' is a problem so many people have a lot of anxiety about and there's obviously a huge amount of money to be made in convincing people that you have some miracle cure for their problem, I thought I'd ask you guys at Scarleteen about what sort of things actually work in the real world and what's just fantasy.

Breastfeeding questions

Curious Female asks:

My boyfriend's sister and I are pretty good friends, so we're pretty open with each other. She has a four year old daughter and a one year old baby that she is breastfeeding. I have a few questions about that. 1) She said she doesn't get her period because she's breastfeeding. Why is that? 2) Are her nipples ever going to be normal again? I know that when a woman breastfeeds the nipples tend to look like bottle tips. 3) Should she have stopped breastfeeding her baby by now? He's almost 13 months. Thanks for reading!

Marie Stopes International

The UK’s leading provider of sexual and reproductive healthcare services.

He couldn't get it up: is it because of me?

first timer asks:

I'm 17,and I have been dating this guy for like a year. We just started having sex, and the other day we were going to but he wanted me to give him head before so he would last longer...then he could not get it back up. He tried hard to but it just wouldn't. Was it me? Can I just not do it for him or something?

Was what we did a sex act?

lolo18 asks:

I'm a 14 year old girl and I hang out with my neighbor a lot (he's a guy) and one day we were at his house in the pool and we accidentally "rubbed" our bodies together and he got an erection. Was what we did a sex act? We still hang out and stuff but it hasn't been we kinda have that sexual tension between us now.

Of love and skin

Anonymous asks:

I was born with a skin sickness called Neurodermatitis. I'm now 14 and so is my boyfriend, but I took a chance and told him why I have so many scars because he asked. Because of the sickness, I have the ugliest legs. I have purple spots, white spots, just scars upon scars upon scars. And there ALL OVER MY BODY. My boyfriend loves me very, very much and I do the same, but I'm worried about what he thinks about my body. I've never shown him what my skin looks like except my lower arms and upper chest (v-neck shirts, not topless). Will my body scare him to stop loving me?

I've washed, but my genitals still smell funny!

Anonymous asks:

After I've washed, my genitals are odor free but only for a few hours. I'm not sporty, so why is this?

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