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I recently acknowledged to myself that I've liked girls as well as boys for a while now. I often find myself frustrated when people assume that my romantic interests in other women "don't matter" because women get romantic feelings for each other all the time, that girls don't count when it comes to sex and kissing, that because I say I'm bisexual I'm secretly straight and will end up with a guy in the end. I'm afraid of being fetishized. I hear men laughing about how hot Asian women are, how much they'd want a threesome with lesbian Asian women, and it just makes me so angry that I don't know what to do. I want my love to be for me, and I want other people -- my peers, family, friends -- to recognize and respect that, but I know that I live in an imperfect world where the ideal isn't always reality. I don't want to be a angry, bitter person all the time. How can I make sure that the relationships I pursue are for me and my partner only, when I feel frustrated by all the stereotypes that surround bisexual women, particularly Asian women and their supposedly submissive nature?
Help! I'm in a relationship with a man (I identify as a straight woman) who identifies as queer. He's mostly had sex with men in the past (there might have been 1 woman), but this is first heterosexual relationship. It's also my first relationship with a queer man. I really care for him, but I am struggling with checking my own heteronormative attitudes. For example, I don't know how to get over the fact that he enjoys watching gay porn, and mostly gets off to men. We still have great sex together and I know he is attracted to me, and I try to remind myself of this when I find myself getting bothered by what turns him on. I'm learning to love, not accept, that he is queer and that he has made me shift my thinking about relationships and sexuality so much. However, I still don't know how to get myself out of these moments, sometimes ongoing, of insecurity.
I'm a 17 year old male currently involved in a relationship of four months. I'm a virgin, and I am also "questioning" about my sexuality, but my girlfriend is unaware. There was a time when I would consider myself bisexual, because I am attracted, physically, to males but not emotionally, but I'm still not entirely sure that I am bisexual. My girlfriend is much more experienced than I am when it comes to sex, but she has never gone "all the way" and she wants to do this for the first time with me. I want to really bad as well, and we plan to soon, but I can't shake the feeling that I will be doing something wrong if I have sex with her and I'm still not fully comfortable or aware of my sexual orientation, or that I want to be in this relationship forever. I would however like to lose my virginity for the first time with her. Would it be wrong if I am still considering myself questioning and we still went all the way?
I'm bisexual, and I really would like to tell my friends. I mean, they seem pretty open-minded, being pro-gay rights and generally accepting. The thing is, they're being open-minded from afar. If they found out that one of their closest friends is bisexual, I'm not sure they'd be too keen on the idea of having a bisexual girl friend. One even has said that she wouldn't want to have sleepovers at a girl's house if she liked girls. I'm honestly not attracted to her or any other one of my friends (well, maybe one a little, but I'd never make her uncomfortable or anything) but they don't get that. I don't know how to tell them that I like girls but that doesn't mean I like all girls. I'm not sure they'd believe me. Help, please?
It's often a bit of a bummer to do extended interviews for press pieces, because a lot of the time -- including just because of length constraints put on the reporter at hand, which are often very strict -- I find I feel like the most interesting stuff said, or some important context, winds up on the cutting room floor.Read more...
anna says: I invited me friend for a sleepover and during the night she liked my clitoris, I didn't tell her to stop because I was worried about how she would take it but I'm not a lesbian so we ended up having sex even though I felt really weird about it. Now she wants to have sex all the time. what should I do?
turbo18 asks:I've known I was gay for about 5 years (im now 19). Lately however something's been "wrong," I'm being attracted to certain women! I've even started looking at "straight" porn. Last night I made out with a girl for the first time, and I even asked her out and I have strong feelings for her (she knew I was gay).
I feel as I've lost my identity. I've dont know who or what I am anymore. I've been with and fallen for guys before. but now I'm questioning my own sexuality again, but for the opposite reason then most. I think I might be bisexual or straight.
Shadowlover says: I am feeling extremely guilty at the moment. I am a seventeen year old bisexual girl, and am currently involved in a relationship with a lovely boy. But I am also lusting after (or crushing on, really) another girl. The problem isn't that I can't have her, I know that, but rather the guilt I feel towards not wanting my boyfriend as much. I really like him and he loves me, but I don't know whether I want to stay with him, and I don't want to hurt his feelings as I have broken up with him before. But I really would prefer a relationship with another female, and feel extremely guilty as I am with someone. I have no clue what to do! Or even how to find another bi/gay girl if i do break up with my boy.