Skip to main content


My best friend was raped: what can I do for her?

Suze asks:

First off, thank you for this site. It's wonderful. Now, I'm a just-graduated senior, and my best friend went with a big group to Florida for their senior trip. She called me wasted and crying, upset and saying that this guy I'll call E wanted to have sex with her, she told him no, and he did it anyway. His side of the story was that she didn't protest. Sounds like rape, right? But she's known for teasing guys, and people might not believe her. And they liked each other a while back--E never displayed any signs of being likely to take advantage of someone.

I have no idea how to handle this situation because there's so much gray area. How can I help my best friend?

On why rape isn't her fault, no matter how you want to spin it, buster.

James asks:

Hi Heather, I just found a question from 'samy-baby' concerning rape when performing a google search for something unrelated as it caught my eye. I'm afraid you appeared all too eager to label the bloke as unsafe and 'stay well away from him', given that the girl openly admitted within the first words of her sentence that she gets her boyfriend stupid-horny then says "no sex", that's just cruel, and I doubt many men would tolerate it. I've made it abundantly clear with my girlfriend that if she makes the effort to turn me into a horn-monster, she should finish through or I'm usually very pissed off; not to say that I'd go ahead and have sex with her anyway. All I'm saying is you failed to advise this girl that if she doesn't want to have sex, then she shouldn't get her boyfriend horny.

I can't orgasm from intercourse and we can't stop fighting about it!

Jade asks:

I can never orgasm when having sex with my boyfriend. Not with vaginal, anyways. I only have a couple times and that's because we were doing other things. But it takes me a looooooooong time, and I think he just gets tired after awhile even though I know he tries. And then I get frustrated with MYSELF, and I know that upsets him cause he thinks I'm blaming him and he gets mad at me and we get in a fight. Ugh. I can orgasm fairly quickly when I do it myself? I don't get it. What's going on and how do I fix it?

Meet Your Prostate!

anonymous asks:

I'm not gay, but I like my butt and anus played with. Can someone tell me why?

Why is anal sex so wrong?

Teenie asks:

I have a question about anal sex. I hear from a lot of people that it's okay as long as your safe about it and consider health risks etc. But I've heard from many friends that it is shunned from society because it's just wrong to insert a penis there...that's where bowel movements are made! I've tried it once with my long time monogamous boyfriend of 2.5 years and it can be such a nice experience; just as nice as your first vaginal experience. I want to understand why it can be such a big would make me feel much better if I knew what was actually wrong with it.

I look at this way: if you've never tried sushi before, and you look at it and think that it's gross, you'll never try it. It's like that with anal sex. If you look at it and you've never tried it before, you might think it looks gross or isn't a nice experience...but you'll never know unless you've tried it. Is that in anyway close to how I think about it? I wanna know why it's such a bad thing! THANK YOU!

Raised to think sex was dirty and it's left me feeling inhuman and insecure

Anonymous asks:

As a catholic, I was raised believing sex was dirty. My family never spoke about sex and so I am completely naive to everything. And despite the sex-ed classes I had in school, everything is still so abstract to me. I never even really had the desire to have sex or to explore my sexuality. It was all just taboo in my mind. I am now 24 and a virgin and have been with my boyfriend for a while now. And as our relationship progresses, we want to become more intimate. We have tried to have sex a few times but it hasn't worked. I know it is my fault because he is not a virgin. I have wanted to do it with him but I get scared and he doesn't force it. Because of my negative sexual upbringing, I feel very uncomfortable talking about sex so I have avoided discussing it with him. My friends tell me sex is perfectly natural, but in the back of my mind, I still think that I am committing a sin by having sex or by doing anything sexual. Is there any way to alleviate these feelings of inadequacy and fear? Most people, despite their up-bringing, do find it normal to have sex at one time or another. They learn about sexuality. And I am still completely naive to everything. I feel like unhuman or something.

The Bees and...the Bees: A Homosexuality and Bisexuality Primer

Many teens have a lot of questions when it comes to homosexuality and bisexuality. In a culture that is often so damning of orientation and sexual identity outside heterosexuality, many teens become nervous when they feel attracted to those of the same sex, worried that they might be gay. Others suspect (or are even very sure) that they are homosexual or bisexual, but are afraid to say so either because they aren't completely sure and feel they will be branded in some way, or simply because they fear being rejected, outcast or scolded by their friends, family or community. While at least 8 million people in the United States are homosexual, about 70 million people still think it is an "illness" or "perversion."

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.