assault

I was raped a few years ago: how do I tell others and build trust again?

Leslie
asks:
Hi, when I was about 16 (I am 21 now), I was sexually assaulted by two extended family members. Over the years it has caused me to loose trust for many males especially the ones I met after the incident and males of my race. The only people I seem to fully trust are my four brothers and parents....

He's a great boyfriend... except when it comes to sex and my boundaries.

faithx4xus
asks:
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and 9 months. From the very beginning, I made it extremely clear that I was not ready for sex and not going to be for a long time, if not until marriage. He said he respected it, and we agreed not to pressure one another until we were completely comfortable with decisions we had both made as a couple....

My best friend raped me last year, and I'm just starting to deal with it.

Anonymous
asks:
Last summer ('06) I was pressured to sex by my former best friend. I kinda blocked it out and it's come back with full force now. I had a flash back when having sex with my boyfriend about a week ago and that was horrible! Any idea how I can cope with that? And how do I cope with the feelings of guilt and shame. I really feel like the whole thing was partially my fault.....

Silent, like the mind never could be

How do you feel about and process a date rape and unpleasant sex after it happens? How do you deal with collective ideas about "grey" rape and the value of virginity when it's actual, not just abstract concepts? How will you talk to a new partner about those experiences? A corageous Scarleteen reader tries to work out very raw and painfully honest feelings on the page.

First intercourse was horrible, and I think it ruined my genitals.

Anonymous
asks:
I did it for the fist time and it was horrible, my partner just went fast and hard and deep until he was done and I wasn't even aroused well...my private is huge now and I do not feel sex with my current partner, it's been three months now, could a person be ripped or torn unnatural although it's a vagina and made for sex with a man? Do I just need to wait a long time before doing it again?...

Male Survivor

Overcoming sexual victimization of boys and men: information and support for male sexual abuse survivors.

Dealing With Rape

If you have NOT gladly and freely consented to and participated in sexual activity -- if you have not in some way said a big yes and wanted to keep saying a big yes -- and someone else had sex with you anyway, that is rape. No matter what ANYONE tells you, it is not your fault. There certainly is fault, but it lies with the rapist, not the victim.