arousal

On why rape isn't her fault, no matter how you want to spin it, buster.

James asks:

Hi Heather, I just found a question from 'samy-baby' concerning rape when performing a google search for something unrelated as it caught my eye. I'm afraid you appeared all too eager to label the bloke as unsafe and 'stay well away from him', given that the girl openly admitted within the first words of her sentence that she gets her boyfriend stupid-horny then says "no sex", that's just cruel, and I doubt many men would tolerate it. I've made it abundantly clear with my girlfriend that if she makes the effort to turn me into a horn-monster, she should finish through or I'm usually very pissed off; not to say that I'd go ahead and have sex with her anyway. All I'm saying is you failed to advise this girl that if she doesn't want to have sex, then she shouldn't get her boyfriend horny.

He couldn't get it up: is it because of me?

first timer asks:

I'm 17,and I have been dating this guy for like a year. We just started having sex, and the other day we were going to but he wanted me to give him head before so he would last longer...then he could not get it back up. He tried hard to but it just wouldn't. Was it me? Can I just not do it for him or something?

He's 15, and we've tried everything, so why can't he get it up and get off?

Cheybaby asks:

My boy friend is 15, has never had an erection and every time we want to have sex we can't. He thought it might be a medical problem but he asked the doctor and said no medical problem here. We have tried everything. The first thing we tried was dry humping and nothing happened and then I tried grinding him they say that can be very arousing but it didn't work. I let him look at porn and nothing happened. More suggestions?

Neither of us are reaching orgasm, but I need him to.

Frustrated asks:

I'm 17 and I have a boyfriend of 7 months, and we're both very much in love. We had sex 4 months ago and he didn't reach orgasm and I got the sense he was frustrated so we stopped trying until last weekend. We both really wanted it but the same situation happened where he didn't reach orgasm and I feel like it's my fault and that I'm just not hot enough for him. I never reach orgasm during sex but I always enjoy it and I want to have sex but the problem is I don't want to do it if he's not enjoying himself or feels frustrated and I also don't want to come off as though I want sex all the time because I'm his first girlfriend and he hadn't done anything sexual before me - not even kiss - whereas I was not a virgin upon entering the relationship, so I don't want to come off as if I'm a rushing things all the time. After all this, my question is: What can I do to make my boyfriend enjoy sex enough to orgasm? He has never finished during sex and I get the feeling he's frustrated with it and would rather I suck him off but I always want sex when we're fooling around and I love him so much I want us both to be able to pleasure each other at the same time.

What do you want to know about periods and sex?

Ellie asks:

If you're due to start your period and your boyfriend fingers you, can fingering stop you from coming on your period or make you a little late?

He's new to sex, I'm not, and I think his values are killing our sex life.

Anonymous asks:

I am 21 years old, and have a two year old daughter so am obviously no stranger to sex. My new boyfriend, however, is a 22 year old complete virgin. We have tried to have sex on multiple occasions but once we really get ready to go for the gusto he goes limp. All the rest of the time he is extremely erect. He and I both can't understand why he continually can't stay hard even though we have tried every position and possibility in the book. I think it has something to do with the fact that he and I are both Christians, but I think his conviction about having sex before marriage is so heavy it wont allow him to stay hard. Please help!!! It's getting to the point where he wants to try almost every night and I am so tired of trying.

What is foreplay?

karson asks:

I hear people talking about foreplay and pretended like I knew but I have never really understood what it was. Can you help?

Why can't I get it up?

Anonymous asks:

Okay, here's my dilemma. I am 16 and sexually active. I've been with my girlfriend for a year and a half. We've used to have sex perfectly with no problems until about a couple of months ago. Now, I can't even get an erection and I don't ever feel horny anymore at all. I ask all my friends if they have this problem but they say no, they can get erections very quickly. I'm having a lot of trouble with this because I thought at this age teens are able to get it up quick and easy. I don't know if it's a testosterone problem or not but it's starting to wear on me. I'm in good shape, but I smoke a little bit. Basically, I've completely lost my sexual appetite. This isn't right. Someone help!

I've only had sex drunk: how do you have good sex sober?

Mia asks:

I'm not a virgin but I have only had sex being drunk and have never had sex sober. How do you have good sex sober? How do you be on top and be comfortable with what your doing. And know what you're doing, right?

When does pre-cum come out of a guy's penis?

Love11 asks:

When does pre-cum come out of a guy's penis? Does it come out when he gets an erection or does it come out when he is actually having sex? Does it depend on the guy?

Is sex supposed to hurt?

funkgurl asks:

I just lost my virginity more than a week ago. Everytime me and my BF have sex it always hurts, usually a few hours after doing it I start to bleed. I've asked my friends if thats normal but they don't know. Is that normal? I also wanted to asked why I haven't been feeling any pleasure yet? Is that bad? I would like it if you would please answer my questions I don't know where else to go and ask.

I can't orgasm from intercourse and it's ruining my relationship!

Melanie (and Leah, and Daniegirl and...) asks:

A friend of mine referred me to this website to sort out some of my complications that arise during sex. I am 17 and have been sexually active for probably the past 6 months but not once have I reached an orgasm. I have no idea what is wrong with me and I am desperate to find out because it is destroying mine and my boyfriend's sex lives. I can orgasm through clitoral stimulation but that is it and I do not know what else I can do. Please help me because I don't know what is wrong with me.

Why do girls bleed after or before intercourse is over?

nancy p asks:

I want to know why girls bleed after or before intercourse is over?

I'm late to the game: have I had an orgasm yet?

missmoniq asks:

I am in my late twenties and have never had an orgasm.I have only become sexually acquainted with my body in the last couple of years and can now get myself to the brink which is really intensely pleasurable but I get no sense of release I would expect to associate with an orgasm. Am I just expecting too much? Am I having orgasms but they are just not what I expect? It has the potential to impact my current relationship as he gets frustrated he can't make me come. Have I orgasmed?

Why is intercourse still hurting me?

NICO_333 asks:

Hi, I am an 18-year-old female and I have just recently lost my virginity. I always heard the first time was painful, but I have had sex well over 20 times now and it is still painful each time. Once his penis is in completely and the thrusting begins, it does not hurt me, but the initial pushing of it inside is very uncomfortable still. I'm always having to ask him to put it in very, very slowly. I'm wondering if this is common for most women and when this pain will go away?