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Sound Counsel: A Conversation With Lynn Ponton

Considering counseling or think you or a friend might benefit from some therapy? Here's a basic introduction and a shared conversation with adolescent therapist and author Dr. Lynn Ponton to clue you in on what to expect from the couch.

I think I have a UTI: what should I do?

ab asks:

I am a teenager and think I may have UI and that could be from a UTI but what should I do to treat it/make it go away as it is affecting daily routine? I have not visited any doctor as I am embarrassed to tell my parents about this possible problem. Do I need to see a doctor, if so how should I tell about this condition to my parents as I can't go on my own? What is the typical process during a doctor's visit for UI or UTI? Will it include a full body exam, because I feel nervous and sensitive to that, especially with someone else in the room with me (e.g. parents). What should I do about this? Can this be cured without need of going to a doctor?

He Can’t Orgasm … Is Diabetes to Blame?

Amber asks:

I just stumbled across your wonderful site totally by accident and am really hoping you will be able to help me with a problem which is keeping me awake at night. I’ve been sexually active since I was 16. Since then, all of my male sexual partners have ejaculated during sex, but my current boyfriend is having a problem. This is affecting our sex life as I feel I must be doing something wrong. He has tried to reassure me he often hasn't been able to orgasm in the past with other partners and that he enjoys sex with me nonetheless - that he doesn’t have to come to be satisfied. But I don't fully enjoy myself knowing that he won't reach orgasm; it doesn't seem fair.

I know you recently answered a question in the same vein but I think my query is different as he is diabetic. I have recently heard that diabetes can affect sex and am wondering if this is true. He doesn't seem aware of the connection and I don't want to mention it without getting the facts first. Please help me, I love him dearly and in all other aspects our relationship is fantastic...but it doesn't fell right for me to be getting all the sexual pleasure.

What can I do to help him stop being so scared of pregnancy?

woah asks:

I have been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years now and we have even talked about getting married. We recently moved in together and to be honest we are as happy as two little beavers. Except for one thing, we haven’t had sex in over 2 years. It really isn’t a problem, we do other things (oral etc.) but we both would really like to go back to having sex. The problem with that is that my boyfriend is afraid I will get pregnant. Every time that we do anything sexually I have to take sometimes up to an hour with him reassuring him that I cant get pregnant from what we just did.

Chicken Soup for the Pregnancy Symptom Freakout's Soul

What are the early symptoms of pregnancy and when do they start to happen? Why are symptoms not the smartest way to tell if you're pregnant, and how CAN you tell if you are? If you're losing your mind during a pregnancy scare, and finding symptoms everywhere you look, here's some on-target information and a dose of comfort to help you separate the real deal from the hype.

I want to save sex for later in relationships, but I can't do that... can I?

Miss Anonymous asks:

I am worried about sex, and I don't think its normal at my age (24) but I don't know what to do about it. I was raised in a really strict family and so I didn't lose my virginity til I was 21 which was really way later than everyone else, even my younger sister. I wasn't really ready but I was sort of curious and I did it to please my boyfriend and lots of other reasons. We dated for about a year and I had sex with two more guys after I split up with him but mainly from feeling like I should to fit in. I haven't had a serious boyfriend in ages now, and I'm afraid to have another relationship cos I think it will surely involve sex. I know in theory you can say no, but hey, what guy is going to stick around with me when he can get it from any other girl on the street? It doesn't seem realistic. When I think about sex I just get scared, cos I feel like I don't know at all what to do, and its not like I was even an adventurous teenager so I can't give head or anything either. I really don't know how to do anything except kiss. But I'm sure most guys are expecting way more than that! I don't want to become a slut just to learn but I can't claim to be a virgin any more so I don't know what to do. In my ideal world I'd like to be with a guy for at least a year before sleeping together, maybe wait til marriage, but I am scared to even admit that's what I want cos I know its not normal. Please help! I'm worried that being so messed up about this will mean no decent guy will want to be with me.

I don't feel ready for sex at all: should I?

Anonymous asks:

I feel like at my age (16), it is so young to have sex. If I were to be dating someone right now, so many things would scare me, that I would choose not to have sex. The chance of an STI, pregnancy, not being good enough for my partner, having my parents find out, and so many more things. I'm scared that during sex, that I wont know what to do and I'm just not comfortable with my body. Most of my friends are having sex and they say they like it, but the fact is, that I'm terrified. Everything about sex scares me. I'm worried about my body, what my partner will tell his friends, the rumors that will get around school, being inexperienced, and I'm scared it will hurt for the first time. I don't want to be seen as up tight for not wanting to have sex, and I know I don't mind having sex before marriage, but I was just wondering about moving past my fears and letting go. So, if you have any ideas, I would love to hear back from you.

I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm......not.

Dave asks:

Basically, my problem is that I cannot seem to cum during oral sex or intercourse. If she uses her hand then I reach orgasm within an acceptable space of time. However, when having sex or receiving oral sex, the feelings build up but never quite reach the point of orgasm. Is this normal? Is there anything I can do?

How can we make sure he stays erect for intercourse?

Lily asks:

Both me and my boyfriend are virgins so I'm not really sure what is normal. The two times we have tried to have sex he has lost his erection. He is completely turned on before hand, but as soon as the clothes come off and it's time to actually have sex, he loses it. He's coming back into town next week since he's been on vacation so is there anything I can do so that this time so we actually have sex?

Negative pregnancy tests, but where's my period?

tiinks asks:

I haven't had my period for two months now (the last time I had my period was March 16). My b.f. and I fooled around but nothing happened, if you know what I mean. I then took 2 pregnancy tests and they both came out negative. At the end of April, I went to the pediatrician and they did a pregnancy test too (I don't know if they did it by blood or by urine). All the tests came out negative, but my period hasn't come yet and I just want to know what it could possibly be! I feel like I'm going to get my period, yet it just wont come. PLEASE HELP!

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