My boyfriend is 31 years old and seems to think he is a pro at pulling out during sex. However I have been really tired and sometimes nauseous lately, plus more hungry than normal. A friend of mine who had a baby just a few days ago told me I'm probably pregnant... What do you think? I need answers ASAP!!
I appreciate your site, and have been reading as much of it (along with several other sources) as I can, and discussing topics with family and close friends and the information is very helpful. However, I still feel amazingly overwhelmed, confused and scared about sex and was hoping I could get some direct help.
I am a 17 year old virgin guy and have a 14 year old girlfriend, as well as (and I do hate myself for this) a would-be lover (my friend's girlfriend). I love and (I believe) am loved by both of them, although at our ages I think it is hard to tell sometimes (uncertainty about feelings, the drama vs. love that you have mentioned, "is it just a casual boyfriend/girlfriend thing", etc). Anyways, I have heard many different opinions about the first time especially in emotional and spiritual terms, and also have my own personal fears and complications.
First, I am worried because I am uncertain about sex being "such a big deal". Honestly I would hope that it is not and I think I may have been close-minded to that effect. Specifically among my concerns are some statements on your site (forgive me and correct if my paraphrasing compromises the intent):
Hi again: the advice you'd given me before was excellent, thank you so much. After discussing it with my boyfriend I decided not to have sex with him. Which is good because it's all going downhill now.. and if I had lost my virginity to him I'm positive I would feel a lot more cheap than I already do.
I made a deal with him. He would stop drinking, and I would take my pants off for him. Sounds a little off, right? But I didn't think I'd have to till until at last a few more months! It's only been 2! Yesterday some friends and I were discussing how older men like younger women... my boy friend is 6 years older than me. I didn't think it was too wrong at first because I'd known him 3 years and just got together with him 2 months ago. But not all of my friends know, and one said "what would man that old (27) be doing with a girl that young (18)" that's kinda close to my boy friend and I's ages. So it got me thinking "what the hell am I doing?!" and the same day I was going to see my boy friend. I talked to him about it... and he said: "no baby you don't see me not valuing your opinions, I don't think it's wrong, you're much older than your age, I'd never use you" and he always mentions us being together in the future. and he says he 'loves' me. I don't love him. and I haven't said it to him either. But his actions speak louder than his words.
Last night was the worst. We were making out and touching and stuff and to be honest I wasn't exactly feeling it..we'd just had the serious discussion like 3 minutes before! Then he undid my jeans and tried to take them off and I said no and he said "you promised" and said 'yes i did but i didn't think it'd be this soon' and he kept trying and I kept saying no.. then he just.. stopped. he moved away from me and i just sat there not knowing what to say.. he said "u took them off before" and I had, even I don't know why I didn't take them off again. We sat there in silence until I finally got off the bed and got ready to leave. I stood there and he was still laying down and I asked him what's wrong he said nothing, what's wrong with me. I said nothing and it was just silence again! I said I had to go and he said ok come here. I went to him and he hugged me and we started kissing again and he pulled out his thing and had me give him a handjob. I went home, called him, he said he'd call me later. He didn't. not one call not one message, nothing. he hasn't called all day. What a way to make a girl feel cheap ey?
I feel like that was the last straw. He got angry with me because I wouldn't take my pants off? I just don't know what to think. I feel like ending it with him. I was seriously much happier when I was single, and had a whole lot more respect for myself. I've never felt so low about myself, and I just don't know what to do about my situation. Could you please help me out?
I’m a 14 year old boy. There is this girl that really likes me and I feel the same way about her. We want to have sex, but we’re both uneasy about it. What should we do?
I am 13 and my boyfriend is 14. We have been going out for 9 months, and we have tried to have sex a few times. although, every time we try, either he can't get hard, or it is excrucitangly painful for me. We are both virgins, so neither of us have any experience with this. One time we tried, he was hard, and it didnt hurt me, but his penis just wouldnt go in, is there something wrong?
I would also like to know what the best condom brands are, because the ones he uses are just the free ones my brother got from the bagly dances and gave to my boy frined as a joke. While I am on the topic of condoms, sometimes he ejaculates before he even goes in, he always gets upset and dosent want to try again, but would it be ok to still have sex even with the ejaculate in the condom?
He has also fingered me but gets angry when I don't get wet. Is there any way to make me get wet faster, or easier?
I am sort of glad though, that it hasn't worked, because I can still call myself a virgin. I don't think I would be ready if we really had sex. Right now we are talking a break, and agreed that it kind of makes me uncomfortable so we agreed not to go further than making out, and feeling (clothes on) but I would really like to have this information, for the next time we try.
I've heard several people on this site explain the issue of a male's penis size as it relates to pleasure to a female's vagina and Heather said once that the thicker the size the more sensation one will feel. The thing is that no one ever said that size truly matters everyone including Heather says it does not. So I have a question just to see if I'm hearing and understand you correct.
My boyfriend is lets say, for argument's sake, 4 inches long and 1 inch wide and when he's in I feel nothing, but my first lover was 8 inches long and 3 inches wide: you're saying he did not make it too big for my current boyfriend to give me or for himself to get good sensations? Your saying that if it was in reverse, that my first lover had the 4 inch by 1 inch penis, and I was fully lubricated my first time with him I still would have felt nothing then also? If that is what your saying then is it true that the women in adult fims who have sometimes hundreds of partners could get and give a man that has s 3 inch by 1 inch penis the same sensations that a virgin or a non virgin that has had only 1 partner could, assuming they both were willing and aroused fully and lubricated enough?
I'm totally confused about my relationship, where it's going, I mean. I'm 14 years old and I have a 16 year old boyfriend, he's turning 17 in a few months. Since he's older, I know he has more sexual feelings and things like that, but I don't think I understand completely. We always fool around...kind of sexually...but not completely. We haven't had sex yet, and I think he might want to. I really don't know if I'm ready, mentally. I think it might ruin the relationship, I don't know what to tell him, or what to do when we start fooling around again. I mean, I enjoy it, but don't know how far to go with it, or where to stop. I feel like I need to talk to him, but no words come out. Whenever we "fool around" he asks like, "Is this okay?" or "Do you want me to stop?" I always let him do whatever, I don't mind at the time. But later on I really regret it, and wish I would have said something. What should I do?
I really want to have sex for the first time. But I am only thirteen. I know vaguely what to do and I know to use protection. But I was talking to my 17-year-old cousin (who has had sex before) if it hurt his girlfriend the first time. And he had said that she was screaming and she felt as if she wanted to die. This information scared me a little too much for comfort. I would like to know if it will hurt as much as he said it will or if he was just exaggerating. Thank you so much.