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abuse

Driver's Ed for the Sexual Superhighway: Navigating Consent

Most of us understand being in transit means there's a possibility of getting hurt, hurting others, having a good time turn into a bad one or just not getting to where we intended, and to try and prevent those outcomes, we need to follow basic rules of the road like being attentive to and actively giving clear signs and signals. Just like it's important on the road, it's important between the sheets.

What's Sex?

It's obviously important if you're here for information that you know what we mean when we talk about sex, so we thought we'd make it clear.

50 Shades Crappier: On Selling Abuse for Valentine's Day

I have written previously about 50 Shades of Grey, and the problems that I, and many others, have with the presentation of BDSM in the book. In short, the book purportedly explores a woman's sexual awakening in the context of consensual BDSM, but really portrays a woman's emotional abuse in the guise of kink at the hands of a controlling partner.

Which is why I was so disheartened to find out that 50 Shades would be adapted for the screen. I knew it would mean that the franchise would live on for another few years, and that we would continue to be inundated with the books/films and its characters until the screening of the final film. And as I feared, the way the film was talked about in the weeks and months leading up to its Valentine's Day release was fairly frustrating. I found it upsetting to see that the story was getting tied up with red ribbons and sold as the perfectly romantic Valentine's Day date. You could get anything from flowers to chocolate to champagne with a 50-Shades

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On Belief

I am tired of disbelief.

I am tired of skepticism.

I am someone who does, genuinely, believe in the value of looking at things with a critical eye, of being cautious, of acknowledging that there are two sides to every story.

But I am tired of it when it comes to people who have been, or are being, harmed or made vulnerable.

In our work here at Scarleteen, we have people who talk with us about rape, or abuse, or relationships that they haven't yet pegged as abusive but that make my shoulders go up around me ears. And I have been asked:

Why do you believe them? How do you know they aren't presenting a biased opinion to get sympathy? There's always two sides to things.

The short answer is: because it is my job to believe them.

We, any of us who work with survivors, have a serious responsibility to, at the very, very least, believe them. They don't come to us for skepticism. They don't come to us to be told that they're overreacting, that they're lying, that they should think of the feeli

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Be Your Own Superhero: Learning How and When to Stand Up for Ourselves

Feel like being able to clearly set boundaries, stick to them, and assert yourself must require superpowers? Nope! You've already got all the goods: here's how to develop and use them!

安全的性爱

什麼是安全性行為?找出你如何才能最好地降低性傳播疾病的風險,並保護您的健康,以及如何做到這一點,在它沒有感覺像性愛正派旅或將在buzzkill支持。

什么是性爱?

這顯然是重要的,如果你在這裡,您知道我們的意思是,當我們談論性的信息,所以我們認為我們會說清楚。

The Scarleteen Safety Plan

If you're in an abusive relationship, to make abuse stop you've got to get away and stay away. Here's help to do that safely, and to be as safe as you can before leaving.

A Pair of Jealous Boyfriends AKA Red Flags Aplenty

Sparknolee asks:

I'm 16 and I'm going through relationship problems that I'm not sure how to handle or what to think of. My boyfriend wants me to change the way I dress because he says I look "slutty." He says he doesn't like me wearing shorts, skirts, dresses or a plain vest top on its own (and I'm quite flat chested so I never show off any cleavage). I'm the type of person who likes wearing what I want. I'm into trends and fashion but now that he's in my life I feel like I'm not allowed to like or wear any of my skirts and dresses in my closet that I love.

But even though he says I can wear what I want, he gets pissed off when I do.

You're Not Pregnant. Why Do You Think You Are?

Some people struggle with strong pregnancy fears when there isn't a pregnancy or hasn't even been any real risk of pregnancy. What's that really about, and how can you move forward?

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