abuse

Taken Over

I never thought it would happen to me, and when it did I was determined to try and fix it. But it wasn't something I could fix.

My friends say I have to have anal sex to prove I'm not a virgin to them.

Katie
asks:
My friends are telling me I am still a virgin in their eyes because I have not had anal sex. The idea is scary to me. I do not think I want to do anal sex. They call me a chicken because I have not tried it. Is there any advice you can give me to maybe change my mind and get me through it?...

Do I need to prove my love to him by giving him money?

Jasmine
asks:
So basically I have this boyfriend who is 2 years older than me. The sex is great and everything is fine. He really is one of the sweetest guys I have ever known. We have been together for months. I went out with his best friend first (who I lost my virginity to). He is perfectly fine with that as it was 2 years ago. Just one minor flaw....

My rape is stuck in my head: what do I do to get it out?

anonymous
asks:
This is an odd question, and I really hope I don't disturb anyone here, it's not my intention. Anyway, I'm 16, and I've been raped, about a month ago. I'm kinda going nuts here, it's being sorted out legally. I'm not pregnant, I don't have any infections, and the guy's arrested, and I could really care less about the incident, except it's really stuck in my head. I guess this isn't sexual......

My best friend was raped: what can I do for her?

Suze
asks:
First off, thank you for this site. It's wonderful. Now, I'm a just-graduated senior, and my best friend went with a big group to Florida for their senior trip. She called me wasted and crying, upset and saying that this guy I'll call E wanted to have sex with her, she told him no, and he did it anyway. His side of the story was that she didn't protest. Sounds like rape, right?...

Why we don't always know

One of the more interesting (and by interesting, I mean ridiculously ignorant) responses I have seen in a few places discussing the I Was Raped project and my input was my statement on the news that the first time I was assaulted -- at the age of 11 -- I did not know what had happened to me and was without any language to even express it.

This is being met with some measure of disbelief by a few folks, or the assumption I was on drugs or had been drugged or that I was simply stupid.

(Wo)men Speak Out

An organization dedicated to eradicating rape, sexual assault and gender violence which seeks to educate both men and women, cultivating healthy relationships and gender equity.

The Revolution Will Be Televised (and I'll find a way to be okay with that)

My plans for last weekend were pretty mellow: I was going to work on my taxes, do a little housecleaning, maybe get started on my garden now that the sun is back out, hang out with my sweetheart, finish some writing, practice piano and play some Scrabble. I was going to tend to myself, for the most part.

The weekend I would up having was quite a bit different.