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abstinence

It's Between God and Me

I used to know God was real. And I knew sex outside of marriage was wrong. Then I lost my faith, and fell in love, and everything turned upside down. One readers story of her struggles to resolve her conflict between sex and religion.

Nearly Half of U.S. States Now Refusing Abstinence-Only Sex Ed and Federal Funding

As reported at Time Magazine this week, most of the United States has started to wise up about the ineffectiveness and bias of abstinence-only (which differs from abstinence-plus or comprehensive sex education, both of which contain accurate and in-depth information on sex and sexual health, but which usually also make clear that forestalling sex or certain kinds of sex is often most safe) sex education pushed by the Bush administration, and which is funded by billions of taxpayer dollars to date, and $50 mil

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We're abstinent, but we had anal sex and are scared to death.

Anonymous asks:

My boyfriend and I are being abstinent until marriage. We only had sex once, we aren't doing it again and want to be renewed as being abstinent, and we are doing that with my cousin and her bf, because they quit after doing it for months, too.

There was only one incident that happened, that scares us both to death. I would never let him in my vagina because that would just ruin our relationship. We had anal sex. I was sitting on top of him, and the he pre-cummed in his pants. He wanted to just stick his penis in my butt, not my vagina, so he did and it hurt soooo badly. He said he cummed while I was on top. I'm not sure if he wasn't in my vagina, though, because I had a tampon in and when I went to the bathroom after all of this happened, I found the tampon all moved up inside my vagina. Then he cummed and took it out, and we stopped, and we both laid next to each other and he stuck his penis back in my butt again. He used lotion so it wouldn't hurt as bad, and it didn't go in far. After the second time lasted for a minute or two, we stopped and decided we should never do it again, because we weren't like that, being all "sexual." That happened on April 19, and it is April 29. We are both scared that I may be pregnant. I never eat a lot, but now I crave food a little more. We are just so scared to death. I never lost my virginity. I was just wondering if the second time he cummed, if it was in my real butt or not, because it felt different from a different position. I want to know if there is any risk at all that I might be pregnant. My period was the 16th-19th, and I really don't want to wait that long to see if I am or not, but I live with my nana and her new abusive husband would kick me out if I even had a pregnancy test so there is not really a good way to do that. I would just like to know all the information, if we should be worried or not, and anything you can tell us. Thank you so much!

Waiting till marriage.

Joe asks:

My girlfriend wants to have sexual intercourse and I'm waiting till marriage. I'm sure she will be the one, but I believe sex should happen after marriage. What do I do?

Illinois Public Schools Sex Education Study

I came across an interesting study on the state of sex ed in Illinois today. Illinois, like most states, receives money from the federal government for abstinence-only sex ed. Some highlights of the study include:

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Vote for Sex Ed Vids: For Teens, By Teens

Like watching video clips online? The cleverer, the catchier, the crazier the better? What about quality vids about things you truly care about, for you and by you? Look no further than the FreshFocus video contest sponsored by RH Reality Check, in partnership with Isis, Inc., Advocates for Youth, SIECUS, and the National Sexuality Resource Center!

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Choose Wife?

CHOOSE WIFE.

That was a sign being held up by a protester this week in front of the clinic where I work in addition to my job here. Two words, but they speak volumes. (Though I confess, it took me a little while to get pissed, because I couldn't stop saying it in an Elmer Fudd voice for a few minutes.)

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Presidential Candidates: Abstinence-only or Comprehensive Sex Ed?

At this point I feel it's redundant to point out that abstinence-only sex ed is ineffective. Nevertheless, several of the folks who want to lead this country are still in favor of it or something called "abstinence-plus" education. (Abstinence-plus does offer a more balanced approach to sex ed, but puts a premium on abstinence rather than making informed, well thought out decisions.)

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Am I less of a man for waiting?

Miguel asks:

Hey there. I'm a 20-year-old male and I've been in a long term relationship with my girlfriend for about 3 years and 6 months and well ... we still haven't had sex. As weird as it seem it had never been a problem for me. We are both virgins and well, I just love her enough to wait. We've been together since I was 17 and back then well, sex wasn't that big of an issue.

But now that I'm 20, with college and going out and stuff, it's really starting to hurt my masculinity. I feel stupid really because I feel like by know it shouldn't be a big deal and it bothers me that it only gets to me when we are around other people, or when I'm watching sex advice shows on TV, or even just regular shows were sex life is a big deal.

I just would like to know two things:

  1. How can I deal with this thing? I mean is there like .. . some mental yoga or whatever method I can use to just go back to not caring that much about not having a sexual active life (which I've wanted since I'm like 15)
  2. How can I explain what I feel to my girlfriend? She doesn't really understand what I go through.

I'll be waiting for your answer. THANKS!

One ring to rule them all

I read about this site in a book that I'm currently reading. I thought I'd check it out for myself. I think the content of your site is terrible. You think that you give teens all the information that they need so they can make informed decisions about their sex life. What bologna. The only decision that teens need to make is to not have sex until they are married. Certainly we all need to be informed about our physical health, our bodies, and how to have a healthy sexual relationship. But what about talking to teens about abstinence?

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Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.