Heather Corinna replies:

Starting with the birth control issue, not knowing which pill in particular you're on and not being able to see the insert for myself, I can't give you a 100% answer per promising you I'm being as accurate as I know how to be.

However, there are indeed some BCPs which operate in the way you're describing, and where what you're presenting here would not present a risk. Too, know that if you're on a combination pill, if for those two lates and one missed, none of those pills were more than 24 hours late, you're likely not looking at ANY viable risk at all. If the two late ones were not more than 24 hours late, there's no need to worry about them at all. And with all combination pills, if that one missed pill was the only one you took more than 24 hours late, that would have been unlikely to compromise the effectiveness of your pill as birth control.

Obviously, using condoms with your pills is always a helpful backup, as well as providing protection against infections and diseases which the pill cannot. Since it sounds like you're worried a lot -- and sex is sure a whole lot less fun when you're stressed out, and it IS supposed to be fun -- I'd suggest doubling up with condoms from here on out, if for no other reason than your peace of mind. Too, if you're having a really tough time remembering to take your pills, you can always talk to your sexual healthcare provider about alternatives which won't require you having to remember to take something every day. There are also some cool BCP pill cases with a reminder clock on them (like these) if you like being on the pill and something like that would help you be sure to take it properly.

In terms of the STI risk, your biggest risk would be a Herpes risk (his oral herpes transmitted to you genitally), and considering how many people have oral herpes, and how many people with it aren't aware they have it, that's not an insubstantial risk. In terms of the risk to your partner, again, a herpes risk would be the largest risk (genital herpes can be transmitted to someone's mouth), but there are also risks of a couple other infections. So, per usual, we'll always advise everyone to practice safer sex with barriers for at least six months -- that's latex barriers, testing for both partners, and monogamy -- before going without barriers to reduce risks as best you can.

Hope that helps you out!