What's scariest for you to talk with others about when it comes to sex or sexuality?

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The pressures around PIV sex. I'm not sure if I want to do it, or how to decide. Now that I might someday have a sexual partner with a penis, I'm scared if I mention him some people will compare him to my other partner and say the non-penetrative sex I love to have with her isn't as important. I'm also agender and scared people will think that my gender is invalid if I ever participate in vulva-enveloping-penis sex. I live around a lot of very sex-essentialist people.

Facing my parents' disappointment.

Sex in my family is something you just don't discuss. Even though (and probably because) quite a few of my aunts and uncles and cousins have had kids outside of marriage and probably got married because they had kids, or were expecting, my parents don't want my sibling and I to have sex until we're married (and probably even past that). So I feel if I told my parents I was having sex with someone, they'd be disappointed because it's not what they wanted for me because they don't want me to end up like them.

The other thing is when people, upon meeting me, try to determine whether I'm gay, straight, or both. To which I generally respond, "I like and am attracted to people and personalities." But this, along with my preference for nongendered pronouns (because I don't even know what I am in new situations) gets boxed into "looking for attention" or "she's just had bad experiences with guys". Which I've had. And with girls. I'd take getting dumped by a guy over a girl flat out laughing in my face for asking her out any day.

So the scariest thing about talking about sex is my parents being disappointed. The scariest thing about to talk about when it comes to sexuality is the fact that I know I won't be taken seriously.

I was a very late bloomer and didn't start feeling or behaving sexually into my early twenties. This was very embarrassing for me, and something that I lied about up until very recently when I started therapy and realized that it's fine. It's all normal. It's okay. But when people talk about teenage crushes, first time experiences, all of that, I get very uncomfortable and have a hard time being honest.

My personal experiences. I discovered porn at 13, but quickly switched over to written smut after my parents found out and attempted to block all adult websites (a fruitless endeavor). I discovered I have some really extreme kinks (which I'm never sharing with anyone ever) and I recently realized that I've never actually wanted to have sex with another person. So I'm probably ace or at least demisexual, which doesn't really bother me. I do kind of feel like I should try sex once or twice to make sure, you know? But I'm not entirely sure how to discern between bad sex and just not being attracted sexually to the other person. Plus, I've never had a raging libido or been especially sensitive. I definitely don't want to talk about my unorthodox methods of masturbation with anyone.

After dating for the first time, I started to wonder if I was also aromantic, or at least demiromantic. This is a tough question because I have nothing to compare romantic feelings to other than fiction (which is a little exaggerated) and the extremely hard crushes I had when I was 10-15 (most definitely a part of puberty that I was happy to leave behind). Being demi/aromantic in itself isn't a problem, but I am worried about being able to get the closeness and support I need from platonic relationships. I really want to do things that are usually associated with couples, like cuddling and hair stroking and taking naps together, but without any potential for romance. I tend to come off as really closed off, so most people assume I don't ever like being touched, even though that's not really true.

This is compounded by the fact that the person who gets me best is a boy, while I'm a girl. Heteronormativity and the glorification of romantic relationships in society are really pushing the idea that we couldn't be close friends without one of us wanting a romantic relationship, which adds a dynamic that I really don't want.

If you add this all up and multiply it by the fact that I hate talking about my feelings because I'm afraid of rejection, you get me staying in the closet and not cuddling with anyone. :{

I'm a girl, I liked hanging out with boys, but I was getting too old to do that without people thinking we were romantically involved. The boys were getting the wrong memo. I wasn't sexually attracted to anyone (but I had my fair share of crazy, secret crushes). All my friends were starting to date. My mom questioned my sexuality. I didn't understand how anyone could look at a person and just want to have sex or see them naked.

I accidentally discovered masturbation at an early age without realizing what I was doing, or rather that it was a thing that lots of people did, and is sometimes taboo...I also was introduced to smut through the mysterious web of the internet, and read a lot of weird things. I also found a lot of adult webcomics. And I'm thankful that I did, because it's not as aggressive as porn, and was the least gross introduction for me. My libido spiked very briefly, and then kind of plummeted when I went to college.

Then, I met a boy who turned me on the moment he started talking, and the romantic relationship followed soon after. Now sex is fun and something I look forward to.

I'm still not jumping into everyone's pants, but I know I'm not as different as I once thought I was. I've also If you're worried that you'll always feel this way, you might not.

It's hard to talk about what consent means with a lot of people, because as a college student, I'm quite aware there are countless instances where the lines are very blurred. By some standards, both people could be charged with rape against each other. But at the same time, there's people who either dont take the issue seriously or aren't inclusive

What to do when people in your life (family, close friends, medical professionals, etc.) are judgmental of you for your choices about sex and relationships. I sometimes worry that my gynecologist would be judgmental of me

Unprotected Sex

I speak fairly openly about sex. To everyone (except my parents). And yes, I get raised eyebrows and people think I'm a freak BUT, the one thing I hardly ever discuss is the fact that I prefer unprotected sex and have always disliked sex with a condom. I tense up, it hurts and I don't enjoy myself at all. Yes, I understand the risks but, I get tested regularly and only have sex with a partner who I trust, inside a relationship.

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