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What would/do you need to feel comfortable talking to your parents or guardians about sex?

Submitted by Heather Corinna on Thu, 2014-08-07 08:49

Welcome to our new way of polling, so you can express yourself and get a sense of how your peers feel about certain topics in their own words, too!

We love having polls on our site so you and others can speak for yourselves -- rather than the media or older adults doing it in your stead -- and see how others feel, too. But our favourite part of the polls were always the comments, where we could all read what you had to say, rather than just seeing what short answer you chose of the options we wrote for you.

So, we've swapped out the multiple-choice format and built a graffiti-wall where what you and others have to say gets written right in the middle of our front page, with everyone's answers in rotation, and your answer gets to be exactly what you want it to be (within the bounds of our site's guidelines). You can add yours just by answering in the comment window here, and voila! Up it goes! If you're a registered user, it goes right up the minute you click save; if you're not, it'll go up as we go through our moderation queue.

Then you and anyone else can always read all the answers to a given question on the permanent page for the poll, like this one. The full archive of all our polls, in both the old and new format, lives here.

Enjoy! We really look forward to reading having what you have to say and seeing it front and center, right where we always want youth voices to be.

I need Mom to respect my

Sat, 2014-10-25 13:10
Anonymous

I need Mom to respect my bisexuality. I came out to my mom three years ago and she still thinks I'm too young to know my feelings, I'm going through a phase, and I have a choice. At the moment I can't talk to her about same-sex relationships, let alone sex. This (and her lack of respect for online relationships) has the potential push me into unsafe practices since I can't ask her for resources or support which I need due to a disability. It also makes me sad because when I was younger she was actually very good about giving me information etc. when it came to heterosexual sex and relationships, but it seems that that only lasted as long as I conformed to her idea of a good, conventional child.

I would need them to be

Fri, 2014-10-17 22:01
hpink

I would need them to be understanding, calm, nonjudgemental, and open-minded of my thoughts, questions, and decisions. I think being these qualities are the most important because if my parents were like this I wouldn't have to be so scared and deal with difficult unanswered questions.

To be honest, I'm not

Sun, 2014-10-12 03:38
Alliemau5

To be honest, I'm not comfortable talking to my parents about sex most of the time. That's why this website has been so helpful to me for many, many years. My parents are very non-friendly when it comes to anything out of the "norm". They're not LGBTQ supporters. While I don't really know where I personally fit in the spectrum of things, I know that they wouldn't support the differences I have from the "norm".

I came out as a lesbian to

Sun, 2014-10-05 14:38
Anonymous

I came out as a lesbian to all of my friends before coming out to my mom, it went super well as expected and we haven't talked about it since.

I'm never going to be

Thu, 2014-10-02 07:29
Anonymous

I'm never going to be comfortable talking to my parents about sex. I don't think anything ever could make me comfortable with it, but fortunately I'm highly unlikely to ever need to now, so it's something I can live with.

My mum is very open about me

Sat, 2014-09-27 10:24
Anonymous

My mum is very open about me talking about sex. However, i need her to stop saying that my boyfriend and I are "too serious"

I would need them to be

Mon, 2014-09-01 11:12
Anonymous

I would need them to be non-judgmental and put their traditional views aside. They treat me differently than my sister, and I think it is wrong, as they let her use BC and not me. I would need an apology, and I would need them to actually see that the science behind the methods is okay, it won't hurt or kill me.

I would need my mom to put

Sat, 2014-08-23 13:05
catalina14

I would need my mom to put aside her beliefs and preconceived notion that I'm still a good Christian girl, and respect the fact that I'm a growing woman.

I'm lucky to have a mom who

Thu, 2014-08-21 12:48
Anonymous

I'm lucky to have a mom who gave me the tools and knowledge to make informed decisions about sex from an early age. I was never felt to feel like I should be ashamed of sex, or that I needed to be heterosexual, gender-conforming, anything like that. I can talk openly with her about who I am interested in, who I am having sex with, anything. My mom is big on social justice and is definitely a feminist, so my sexual activity is generally affirmed, unless she is concerned that a partner may be abusive or I didn't really give consent, things like that.

...I'd need them to not have

Wed, 2014-08-20 16:59
Anonymous

...I'd need them to not have said the bigoted things I remember so clearly. To not have me be the one to help them become more tolerant. That's about it, really.

Because even though they're better now, I'm still just flat out uncomfortable talking more seriously about my queerness, which tends to go with talking about sex. Sure, I'm fine with joking about it, but the "Hey yeah, actually I'm not a boy or a girl, also asexual, and bi(romantic)" thing doesn't work so well in conversations about sex and sexuality when they don't really get it.

Though, I guess it's kind of a moot point by now - and I'm not upset or anything, it's just that I've already found out what I need to know from places like scarleteen and the fuckyeahsexeducation tumblr.

My parents are very open

Sun, 2014-08-17 12:26
A.Rae

My parents are very open about sexual things. So, for me, all I would need is to know that they would really listen to me-and not give me any labels. Just for them to listen and answer questions.

Carry on my wayward son,
There'll be peace when you are done.

My parent is extremely

Mon, 2014-08-11 17:01
Anonymous

My parent is extremely uncomfortable about sex and sexuality, especially as it pertains to me. She also tends to react extremely emotionally to decisions I make about my sex and sexuality which are different than those that she makes. She has some misinformation of contraception and is distrusting about the forms that I use, despite the research I shared with her. While it might be more comfortable to be able to be honest with my parent about my sex life, I would be compromising my ability to make my own decisions about my body if I did so. When I have questions about sex and sexuality, I do research or seek answers from other older adults in my life.

In some ways, I need to have

Sat, 2014-08-09 08:55
Anonymous

In some ways, I need to have questions that they are willing to answer along with a problem of my own that relates. I also need their respect and acceptance.

I would need some sort of

Fri, 2014-08-08 02:44
Anonymous

I would need some sort of assurance that I won't be judged or labelled by my parents/guardians. I need to know that whatever I share with them will not be used against me as in a derogatory manner.

I would need them to have

Thu, 2014-08-07 22:53
Anonymous

I would need them to have genuine respect and care about my choices, identity, and orientations.

I would need for them to be

Thu, 2014-08-07 21:39
Anonymous

I would need for them to be open about what i have to say, and i would need to know that they're not gonna judge me regardless of my feelings and decisions. if my parents were understanding and valued my point of view, i would be talking to them about sex very often, including all my concerns and stuff.

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