If you've had/have any kind of partnered sex, in what interpersonal context has it MOST often happened?

Primary tabs


When I have had partnered sex, it has almost always been with someone in a relationship within the 1st month of dating. But since I have been partnered for over a decade, most of my sexual encounters (of any kind) with a partner have occurred in this long-standing relationship.

I have had three/four sexual partners (I have the slash becuase I often choose to not include the fourth) all of which in different context.

My first sexual experience: long term relationship of over a year

Second: (the one I dont mention often): long term friend (known her for 5+ years at the time)

Third: Romantic Relationship where we had sex within a week of knowing each other (friend of a friend whom I still am in significant contact with :) )

Fourth: Friend of a year or so- had sex within a month of dating, but only once becuase he turned out to not truly respect me nor women in general. That ended quickly hahahahaha.

Btdubs: I recently came to terms to being Pansexual and thanks to your sight finally found a term I feel comfortable identifying with (I'm not straight, I'm not bi and I'm not a lesbian, but instead, an odd mix yet enjoyable of the three).

Actually, it used to be that I only had casual hookups or friends with benefits-- but now I've been in a monogamous relationship for 8 months, and it's the first time I've had consistent sex with someone (as opposed to 1-2 times with my previous partners).

My first and longest ongoing sexual experience was due to sexual abuse/rape which lasted about a year when I was a teenager.

I had to choose other

I've only been with 2 guys. One was my stepdad and it was from when i was 9 until i was 12 and a half

so maybe u need a "rape/abuse" sort of option in your survey :(

When we ask questions like this, we're not asking about rape, but about consensual sex. In other words, about sexual activity BOTH (or more) people involved have freely chosen to engage in. We wouldn't want to add a rape/abuse section because it's very important to us to make clear that rape is NOT sex for a victim, even when it is for an abuser. Consensual sex is about something being wanted sex for everyone involved, not just one person.

In case that's tough to make sense of, think of it like this: I could ask who has participated in boxing. Someone might comment that they got hit by someone, so maybe they did? But my answer would be that they didn't, because choosing to engage in boxing as a sport isn't the same as being hit by someone, even though there's hitting in boxing.

Make sense?

Editor & Founder, Scarleteen: Sex Ed for the Real World
Author, S.E.X.: The All-You-Need-to-Know Progressive Sexuality Guide to Get You Through High School and Col

it's about even between two for me.
the first, a relationship of >6 months.
the second, a friend who was not very close when we started being sexual. we grew closer over the course of our sexual relationship, which lasted for three months and now we're very close friends.

Ive only ever had one sexual partner who Im still with, the first time was after the first month

I've slept with five people now:

Number 1 I only knew for three days before we had sex, and there was oral sex before that even. We didn't actually end up staying together either, as it turned out he had a girlfriend.

2 was a one night stand who I then saw for a month or so before realising it really wasn't going to work out.

3 was also one night, but with a guy I'd been friends-ish with for a couple of years

4 was a guy I'd been friends with for a year or so and who I'd been sort-of seeing romantically for a few months, though the relationship didn't become official until afterwards.

5 is a guy I'd known all of two days, but was more friendly/romantic than any other one-nighter.

I'm not sure if this poll includes oral sex, but most of my long-term relationships haven't actually involved penetrative sex...then again, I'm only 18, so maybe that's not a surprise.

I voted "In a romantic relationship lasting 3-6 months." but I'm not sure about this answer, it's been 4 months now but we started hooking up casually (after knowing each other for a few months and seeing each other occasionally as friends/classmates) before it evolved into a serious romantic relationship.

I've only had one serious boyfriend (who I am still with). We've been together for a little over one year, but we were together for four months when we first had sex. It was a little soon but I don't regret it because I really do love him and sex hasn't had any negative effects on our relationship.

For me it's been almost always with a friend, but of varying closeness or length of time between meeting and sexual encounters. In a fwb situation, at least for me, the length of time I had previously known the person is not too relevant. Also, there is no choice to account for an ongoing relationship of this sort.

Add new comment