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From what place or people do you experience the MOST pressure about sex?

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Submitted by Heather Corinna on Tue, 2010-06-15 10:13
Friends
21% (383 votes)
Parents or guardians
7% (129 votes)
Current or potential sexual partners
11% (196 votes)
Friends of current or potential partners
2% (43 votes)
Television or films
10% (175 votes)
Print media (books, magazines)
2% (37 votes)
Websites
5% (88 votes)
Advertisements
1% (24 votes)
Teachers, coaches or mentors
2% (27 votes)
Religious leaders or groups
3% (53 votes)
Siblings
1% (13 votes)
Grandparents or other extended family
1% (12 votes)
Healthcare providers
0% (5 votes)
Other (tell us in the comments)
2% (44 votes)
Hard to pick one: I feel strongly pressured by more than one source
11% (197 votes)
I don't feel pressured by anyone
20% (357 votes)
Total votes: 1783

Question

Fri, 2011-10-28 01:23
Anonymous

Does it count as pressure when people are emphasizing NOT having sex?

peers

Tue, 2011-05-03 21:13
Anonymous

not friends, but there's just so much talk about sex around school

childrens doctor

Fri, 2011-02-25 14:53
Anonymous

I got presure from my doctor when i told her i hadnt had my period in over a year when i was 12-13. She told mt i was probobly pregnant and i told her i couldnt possibly be because i havent had sex at all. She was completely adement that i had to be pregnant. i got a blood test because i thought it was something due to hormones and my doctor didnt know what my test ment just said my collesteral(sp) was a little high. I havent heard from her since and now im almost 16 and still have the mentrual problems.

I hated how she automatically jumped to that conclusion, even when i tolde her it had been OVER a year. takes nine months to make a baby! youd think id notice if i was pregnant by then!!

i feel pressure from myself,

Fri, 2010-12-24 07:51
Anonymous

i feel pressure from myself, because i want to sleep with my boyfriend really badly. he's never pressured me even the slightest bit, it's all from myself.

and the pressure i feel from my friends is actually positive pressure, because none of my female friends have had sex and they give me a really hard time about making sure i use enough birth control, which is annoying but actually very helpful because they've helped me internalize that sex is risky and i need to be careful about it.

Myself.

Tue, 2010-10-26 12:53
Anonymous

I definitely pressure myself. I feel as though by engaging in a sexual activity, I will have accomplished something. Not only that, I crave the attention I receive from boys when I "do something nice" for them

pressure from myself

Tue, 2010-10-19 15:52
Anonymous

Honestly, I think I feel the most pressure from myself. I worry sometimes about whether or not I should do things...do I want to do them? Is it safe? Am I comfortable enough with that? All of these questions cross my mind almost every time sex comes into my mind. It's hard to deal with all of it.

Multiple sources

Sat, 2010-08-28 17:29
Anonymous

I'm unfortunately from the southern US where the religious right means any sex makes you a slut and identifying as anything other than heterosexual makes you a bad person. I get a lot of pressure to avoid sex at all costs from religous leaders, and, for a very long time, I used to get that from my parents too. My grandparents and extended family remain sources of such pressure.
Thank God I stayed sensible enough, despite the onslaught, to realize that this is total insanity and an unhealthy fixation with virginity. I'm comfortable with sex and I'm okay with not being straight. Now to just get myself the heck to a blue state.

Pressure about -having- sex

Sat, 2010-08-21 14:58
Anonymous

Pressure about -having- sex ?
Not really. I'm a single man, so I don't have a partner that wants to have sex with me, and I'm not approached by anyone who would; so there's nobody putting any immediate pressure on me to do something that I don't want. And my interest and concern about having sex is rather nonexistant, so there's no pressure from myself. The culture at large of course has certain expectations/stereotypes/roles, but for a straight male the consequences of not conforming (to wanting sex) is probably the least of any group (as, the worst that can happen is somebody thinks me less "masculine" to their concept, and that doesn't bother me). I don't concern myself with the media/institutions messages about it, and my friends/family are not interested in my sex-life.

Pressure about -not having- sex ?
Also not really. Living in a fairly liberal european country, there was for example no religious influence, no unhelpful abstinence stuff. My family also wasn't prohibitive (as there was no concern about sex in general) but I recognize this has probably more to do with the privilege of being a son - had I been a daughter, I expect the family would have a different attitude.

Pressure about sexual expectations/norms/conformity/roles etc. ?
Again, not really. Oh, the messages are out there and I can definetly recognize them, but I disassociated myself from their influence a long time ago and live on my own terms.

Work and customers

Thu, 2010-08-05 02:35
Anonymous

Since I started working, there is an assumption once adulthood starts that everyone is open to having sex. This openness about having sex kind of freaks me out, just turning 18, out of high school, its really weird. I wonder if anyone really cares about other people or they're just objects to fuck because that's what it sounds like.
Unknown to me, I'm a raving sex monster even though I state I don't want to date, I apparently don't call the shots on that. As a culture, I feel we assume we know what everyone wants. I work as a cashier and guys are a lot more persistent with me when I say I don't date, I'm apparently a lot more attractive when i seemingly need to be cured.

I'm not sure what part of I do not want to date keeps getting mistaken.

Nic

Fri, 2010-07-02 10:17
Anonymous

i chose other because i feel pressured by myself about it, worrying about everything, especially if i was big enough for the girl (turns out i was haha) but it still got me really worried. so yes, most pressure came from myself

Other

Tue, 2010-06-29 13:20
Anonymous

Although I don't think I'm ready for it yet, I feel a lot of pressure from myself....It's kind of confusing actually...

I chose other

Tue, 2010-06-29 09:15
Anonymous

I chose other because, back when I felt any pressure to have sex (thankfully in the past now), I experienced pressure from a source that's hard to explain. I thought that the pressure was internally generated--I thought I was pushing myself too fast. But when I stepped back and examined it, it was really society (through my mother, TV, abstinence-only programming) telling me that the only real sex needed a penis in a vagina.

My wonderful boyfriend helped me work through that one!

I also chose "other" because

Wed, 2010-06-16 09:05
Anonymous

I also chose "other" because I feel the most pressure from myself. This is changing over time: as I get more comfortable and experienced with making choices about sex that are actually about what I want and what I'm comfortable with (and what feedback I'm getting from current and potential partners), I'm able to take some of that pressure off.

Other

Tue, 2010-06-15 13:01
Anonymous

I've replied "Other" because I think the only person who puts any pressure on me over sex is in fact myself. I think I should have more; my libido should be higher; and my desire greater. And this despite that my wife appears perfectly happy with the quantity and quality of our sex -- and yes we do discuss it, regularly.

borderline sexually frustrated

Thu, 2011-02-03 02:30
Anonymous

Hearing close girl friends rampage about their horniness makes me long for that unrelinquishing feeling and mutual lack of inhibitions.

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