How do you feel about having casual sex?

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My only "concern" surrounding casual sex is STI risk. I'm personally not comfortable having even protected sex with someone whose STI status I don't know. Thoughts?

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Well, I feel like a comment like that might require talking about how you define casual sex vs. something else when it comes to STIs.

For instance, I find that many of our users in committed relationships have often not been tested (so no one knows their status), but are just assuming that sex in a committed relationship is safer when it comes to infections for some reason.

Obviously, too, we might need to talk about what the difference is between casual sex and that that is NOT casual, especially if a commitment is happening 9and sex is), say, a few weeks or a month or so into a relationship.

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I think this is an interesting survey that that Courtenay brings up some good points (and, Heather, some good replies!) I participated in the survey but found it difficult to figure where I stood without one standard definition. Of course, I think it's good to have many definitions and options, and for it to a personal thing, but I do think it all depends on how one defines it. I think of casual sex being something where you might up with a stranger or someone you don't know well for a sexual encounter but, then again, having sex with a friend where there's a lot of mutual caring but not necessarily romantic love or a committed relationship. While I never was in the no-sex-before-marriage camp, at some point I acquired the mindset that sex "should" occur within the context of a relationship (this was back from when I was a teen.) Nowadays I see it as one way to get to know someone better and check for compatibility *before* committing to a relationship-- I wonder if fewer teens would feel like they had to stay in a relationship that turned sour because they had sex and and were afraid of being labeled as "promiscious" (of course, it all depends and such sexual judgments are bad.) Granted, that's a far cry from meeting a stranger in a bathroom but couldn't they both be considered casual sex?

I think it also all depends on the people involved, in terms of comfort level and sexual readiness. In any case, I look forward to hearing more about people's experiences and definitions!

I feel like I, personally, would never really be ready for casual sex; I'm too worried about emotions getting caught up in the mix by accident, and I just wouldn't feel comfortable with it. I don't know if I'd be able to trust someone in that kind of situation, I just don't feel capable of navigating such a complicated thing without making matters even more complex with mixed/developing feelings, etc.

I also don't think I'd find sex freaking amazingly awesome outside of a relationship with a person I'm in love with; sex for me is not so much about the sex as it is about being with the person I love, enjoying ourselves together, exploring ourselves and each other together, and a lot of that has to do more with the psychology than the actual acts themselves. So without that connection to the person, I don't think I'd even enjoy the sex all that much.

However, I never assume that everyone is the same as me, so I'd never say other people shouldn't do it. If it feels right for them, and they enjoy it, then why the hell not? :D

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