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If you're in or have been in a sexual relationship, do you feel like it has been/was emotionally healthy?

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Submitted by Heather Corinna on Thu, 2008-11-13 11:48
Yes, I feel like my relationships are or have been healthy ones.
36% (578 votes)
No, I do not feel like my relationships are or have been healthy.
15% (240 votes)
It's been a mixed bag: some have been healthy, some have not.
26% (421 votes)
I don't know how to tell what a healthy or unhealthy relationship is.
4% (60 votes)
I have not yet been in any sexual relationships.
20% (319 votes)
Total votes: 1618

My first sexual relationship versus my newer healthier one

Fri, 2009-07-24 14:09
AllieMarie

My first sexual relationship was pretty unhealthy. we were only together because we could be and everything we did i quickly realize was a mistake. we almost never talked outside of school and when we were together. we never talked about feelings and were not really happy together. my current relationship however has been very healthy. we talk openly about our feeling (about EVERYTHING, including sex) and any sexual activity we engage in is to show our love for each other not jus for recreational purposes. i realize how stupid i was for even being in the previous relationship.

For those who don't know how to tell...

Tue, 2009-03-03 10:08
Heather Corinna

...if a relationship is healthy or not, this piece might be a good place to start: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/crisis/blinders_off_getting_a_good_loo...

Should have dumped him

Mon, 2009-01-05 08:46
Anonymous

My relationships have been mixed. My first time was terrible because it was with a jerk and I only did it so he woudn't dump me. Well, it all turned out bad a month later when I tried to dump him. I suddenly realized that I had been in a abusive relationship. I had the support I needed but I should have WAITED. It really is the best thing for anyone. *side note* I am happliy Married at 18 now:)*

first time

Fri, 2009-01-02 10:32
Anonymous

before i had sex i went to this website and did a bit of reading, me and my boyfriend are extremely close and it is more than just love it is a very close bond and friendship! i was on holiday with him and we were having a really good time, then one day we came back to the apartment and i knew in my heart (sounds really soppy i know but it's true) that i was ready for sex; that i wanted to have sex not just for him but for me. i told him and he was shocked (he wanted to have sex with me way earlier but i made him wait which he did) he kept asking if i was sure and i knew i was. it was difficult at first because we were both virgins so it took a while to get it in but when we did it was suprisingly really good (much better now after practice though) and when we finished we simply smiled at each other and cuddled all night and i was really happy! we both were! what i am trying to say is that the best thing to do is wait honestly, my mum told me this before i had sex and it was the best advice i have been given; don't push yourself to do something wait until you are truly ready and trust me you will know, better yet you'll enjoy it more when you are ready! hope you guys find it as useful as i have found the other comments.

Emotionally mixed

Tue, 2008-12-16 14:19
Anonymous

I haven't actually had physical sex yet, which is almost certainly due to the fact that I really don't know what I am in terms of sexuality, but I have had two long term emotional...er, attachments. The first was basically one sided infatuation (with a girl) but was nevertheless very unhealthy in that I basically followed her around like a lost puppy whilst trying to ignore the other people she was with at the time/ her blatant hatred of anyone who didn't like only guys or people of the opposite sex. Yep, gays were fine, but not lesbians or bisexual women *sigh* That one lasted for about a year and a half.

The second (with a guy) was much better in that I felt I had more control over what happened (ie "no, I'm worried about pregnancy, let's not have sex right now")/ my partner wasn't rubbing it in my face that they were sleeping with other people/ I wasn't being mocked for my confusion over my sexuality. That one lasted for 21 months, which is pretty good going IMO considering it was from the age of 14 to 16.

So yes, emotionally mixed, sexually nonexistant.

sex education

Fri, 2008-12-12 13:07
Anonymous

sex education should be taught to kids because that way they can find out if the relation ships that they will have in the future will be healthy or not and especialy those who are gay

virgin

Wed, 2008-12-03 00:59
Anonymous

I've never actually had sex before, so im a full out virgin. I am planning in the future to have sex. I feel in my school there's a lot of pressure to have sex already. But im not that easy..........also im gay which makes it that much more difficult

:D

Tue, 2008-12-02 21:50
Anonymous

ive been with my boyfriend for 3 yrs now.
we've pretty much had sex throughout the whole time...and its completely healthy and we are happy, and in love.
p.s. im 16 and yes, i know what im talking about.

Thank goodness I had sense

Fri, 2008-11-28 18:00
Anonymous

I ended my unhealthy relationship early, thank goodness. My mom and best friend said that he was a huge jerk and thank goodness I believed them and ended it quickly.

They all pretty much made me feel used.

Wed, 2008-11-26 10:11
Anonymous

I thought my first one was healthy, until I met a GREAT guy. But after I had sex with Mr. Great, for the first time (we had been romantic for two months). He stopped calling. Now... I can't help but thinking my sex is bad and can't help but wondering--- what's wrong with me??? Besides those two, I've had a one night stand when I was slobbering drunk (unhealthy!) and a "friends with benefits" relationship that ended up only being the benefits part (it was horrible, and hurtful). The one I'm in now, I can't help but think he's taking advantage of me both sexually and emotionally. --- I've had sex less than 20 times with 5 guys--- and besides the one night stand, they all meant something to me. --- I can't help but feel dirty, I can't help but feel used.

i feel the same way, but we

Sun, 2009-05-31 14:11
Anonymous

i feel the same way, but we shouldn't! one day i know i'll meet someone who isn't selfish and cold hearted.
just know that you are beautiful and stay positive. be safe too. ive learned to be weary, its hard to give all your
trust to someone knowing that they might just throw it away...good luck though and know that you are great.

If only I had had the sense

Fri, 2008-11-21 12:16
Anonymous

If only I had had the sense to end the unhealthy one earlier. The relationship I am in right now is much healthier and is completely stress-free which allows me to enjoy the other person more.

I fully agree.

Thu, 2009-06-25 14:31
Anonymous

Looking back on it, I can't BELIEVE the immaturity and other problems I put up with in my "first real relationship." The one I am in now has really shown me what it's like to be appreciated, never used.

Well, part of it was that I

Sat, 2008-11-15 11:34
Anonymous

Well, part of it was that I was suffering from untreated bipolar at the time . . .

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