Ideally, partnered sexual activity should be pleasurable in some way for all involved. When it mostly feels lackluster and there's a lot of discomfort and anxiety afterwards, as one Scarleteen user describes here, it's usually time to at least start thinking about making some changes. Past experience of sexual assault can also impact a person's comfort with current sexual activity, and breaking the silence on that and finding appropriate help with support and healing can often be beneficial. Here, a Scarleteen message board user explores why she isn't feeling comfortable with most sexual activities and comes up with ways she can feel more comfortable and get what she needs.