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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » infatuation

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Author Topic: infatuation
Member # 6282

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what do you guys think about infatuation or growing apart?

[This message has been edited by HitlerCantDance (edited 01-15-2002).]

Posts: 8 | From: California | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 5036

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Well, it's normal for two people to evolve differently - after all, they're different people

Maybe you'll feel better about it if you ask her what passing the infatuated phase actually means to her - she thinks about you less? She can actually do her homework without constantly daydreaming about you? Her answer will most likely *not* feel threatening to you, and you may feel better if you find out.

It's positive because it means you're over the "newness" of it, and you're more settled in together. I see that as being a good thing.

It's kind of like going on vacation. You get somehere, and it's awesome. The hotel is amazing and the skiing is great, or whatever. After a few days, though, you've settled in, and you know the slopes better and you're a bit used to it now.

The downside is that it's not all new, new, new anymore. The upside is that you know some of the slopes and runs quite well, and maybe you're comfortable enough try some harder runs, or take a day off skiing and sit in the hot tub.

It's not better one way or the other - it's a tradeoff: giddiness for relaxation?

OK, that wasn't a great analogy, but I hope you get my point

Hope this helps,

Posts: 848 | From: London, UK | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 5657

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Nice analogy there. To be honest, I have a lot of problems with this, but since it's your thread...

I tend to break up with girls if they're not infatuated enough, and also tend to break up if they're infatuated too much. But, if we somehow survive that stage and get beyond it into "comfortable" (bad word, more on that in a mo) then I'm usually very happy.

What I meant by comfortable isn't "boring" or "placid" but just that. You're happy to be around them, you don't feel awkward in any situation, you know you can share what you think with them and they won't think less of you. It's my ideal time of a relationship. Infatuation tends to imply that you're so concerned about them you're scared of being *completely* yourself and are still (everyone does) being the person you think they want you to be (or just not showing them your dark side).

Sorry if that's rambling/non-sensical/irrelevant.

Posts: 16 | From: UK | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 6282

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Thanks, I think that helped. It doesn't seem as bad now that I hear you put it like that. We both are happy to around each other and don't feel awkward at all. I don't feel like I have to try and impress her. Anyways this was a little while ago when she said that so maybe its changed a little since then. But I do think might be "comfortable" now.
Posts: 8 | From: California | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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