Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Abuse & Assault » I got out!

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: I got out!
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
(of my abusive situation)

Here's a thread for your success stories.

Have you found your way out of an abusive relationship or an abusive home? How did it go? How did you do it? How has your life come back together, and how have you started to heal?

Share your stories here: seeing that it's possible can be a big help for those still in the process of trying to get out themselves.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 30200

Icon 1 posted      Profile for deadhead89     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
When I dated a cheerleader:
Ready? OK!

So this relationship sucked... A lot.

Lets call him Bob.

I thought Bob was a caring, sweet boy at the end of my freshman year in highschool. He would always flirt with me during math, and I loved the attention. My self esteem at the time was very low, and any attention from the opposite sex would make my day.
Bob was also about a year older, I thought it would be cool to date someone "mature"

Moving on, Bob and I would talk online afterschool nonstop, he would hug me in the hallways, and would call me"his girl" or "his princess"..He made me belive that he truely loved me, so I tried to share the same feelings back.

Summer break started, he wouldnt call me for days. I thought I had done something wrong. But then every now and then I'd get a "thinking of you" text message...He was at camp with a bunch of girls, and he thought that there was no reason at all for me to be jealous. I told him to call me often still, because hearing his voice made me happy. Instead: short, blunt, lame text messages.
When he got home, he was online, I started asking how his trip was, and sorta asked why he never called. He told me that I was too clingy, and that if he really loved me, I'd have full trust in his actions. He told me that my worries were wrong, that it was not healthy to have that type of relationship. Every problem of his always turned out to be my fault. And I believed it.
I would even have suicidal thoughts because of guilt, and even started CUTTING.

My best guy friend (now boyfriend) noticed how down I was lately, I dissagreed and denied everything..even though he was pretty much 100% right.

Then bob invites me over for dinner at his older brothers house, the day before I fell and got in a white water rafting incident, so my mother gave me a "tiny muscle relaxer" for my body aches. It relaxed me alright,,, a bit too much. Bob took advantage of this sitation, he told me that he wanted to give me an orgasm, my thoughts were cloudy, so everything just happend,, I got fingered for the first time. He was rough, I felt no pain because of the medicine...

After all that mess, he begged for a handjob, because he loved me(blah blah Etc) I refused to do that.. because it just didnt seem right suddenly. The idea of me giving him satisfaction because of our "love" seemed like a complete lie. He got angry, and I still apologized. Bob said it was my fault. "sorry sorry sorry" Then he pressure me for sex.. didnt happen.

Went home

Woke up in a huge amount of pain "down there" from being fingered. I confronted him , he didnt even care that his girlfriend was bleeding, scared, and couldnt sit right. He text messaged about how much he enjoyed the night before.

That night I told this to my best friend, he got very very upset about the situation. He helped me understand this was just not right.

That night, I broke up with a text message.(BUURRRN)

Ready? OK!
The other day, Bob saw me waiting for my ride. Now, my self esteem is at its highest. He commented about how beautiful I am. Bob saw that day an ex girlfriend who is 20 pounds lighter, withought braces, without acne, without the desperation for attention.
Did I flirt back?
Hell no, that cheerleader got ignored.

This may not be no biggie compared to other abusive relationships, but this boy really messed with my head. I wanted to die.

Now, everything is perfect. My current boyfriend (the best friend) is so sweet and cares for me. Never will I ever let someone put me down like Bob did.

Posts: 33 | From: USA | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 30200

Icon 1 posted      Profile for deadhead89     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Could you please delete that post?
Posts: 33 | From: USA | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 29292

Icon 1 posted      Profile for cool87         Edit/Delete Post 
You can edit it yourself simply by clicking at the little icon at the top right of your post.

Sustain Scarleteen by donating

Posts: 3598 | From: Canada | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 25983

Icon 1 posted      Profile for -Lauren-     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Actually, deadhead, it would be absolutely wonderful if you could leave your story up.

It's always encouraging for people dealing with abuse situations to hear about people who got away and found strength and happiness in doing so. You encountered a real form of abuse, and it's likely others reading it are, as well. Thank you very much for sharing.

If, however, you're concerned about remaining anonymous/somebody you know finding this, you can email to either have your post deleted, or to find other ways to protect you.

[ 09-09-2006, 09:08 PM: Message edited by: Miss Lauren ]

Posts: 4636 | From: USA/Northern Europe | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 30200

Icon 1 posted      Profile for deadhead89     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Okk I'll keep it up, forgot all about it until now, wow, that was forevveerr ago.. Everyone who read that (badly written)story, dont let anything like that ever happen to you. Do not ever let a boy make you feel terrible for things that you had nothing to do with. It can really mess you up. If you are stuck in a cruddy relationship, do what I did. Find a good friend to help you get through with it, and break up with the guy...
Posts: 33 | From: USA | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 31306

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Huni     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 

[ 10-31-2006, 07:11 PM: Message edited by: Huni ]


Posts: 30 | From: california | Registered: Oct 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:

Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3