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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Body image

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Author Topic: Body image
Angelica Maria
Activist
Member # 96266

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I wanna try this weight loss program called slim fast because I want the experience of being a "norm". I have some guy friends who are really dates who have a thing for big girls. I'm a big girl. I don't know know when to ask them if their attractions to me would change. I wanna change so I can get boys that like thin girls. Fewer boys like fat girls, but fewer guys like ALL girls, my mom told me. She disagrees with my decision because she keeps telling me if they can't accept me for who I am they're not worth it. It's also that I want the experience of being a "norm". Plus it's temporary. I don't wanna be a miss skinny girl forever. When I'm done I'll go back to my chunky self. I did consider surgery on this but that's life threatening. You can burst your stomach if you over eat. That's why I chose slim fast. I asked a girl I might date if shed still like me of I lost weight she said shed love me regardless of weight. I wanna know if my boys feel that way too but I don't know how to ask. My mom says that the guys I got that like BBW are decent guys and that superficials are creepy. But I can turn back on this. The question is how can I ask these people? I asked the girl no problem but it's different for me with boys.

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*Angelica, A, A-Maria, Maria, Angie; address me as either of those* We shall never deny an individual's sexuality, even the most ridiculous identity. We are free to love who we love and identify our sexual orientation our way. Theres no rules!

Posts: 57 | From: NY, USA | Registered: Jul 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Karybu
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 20094

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As a health organization, the only thing we can advise when it comes to weight loss is to talk to a healthcare provider. They'll be able to evaluate your health, and if they think that you do need to lose weight, let you know how to do so in a healthy way.

Per discussing potential weight loss with sexual partners, I think your mom had some pretty good advice. If someone's opinion of you changes that drastically because of a change in your appearance, or if they're with you ONLY because you look a certain way, then they're probably not worth your time. It's also hard for anyone to say what they'll think if a partner's appearance changes somehow: they can't see into the future, and they can't see what you might look like if you lost weight, you know?

One more thing to think about that might be helpful here is the value that you seem to be placing on being a "norm" - to be honest, normal is a pretty useless term in a lot of ways. A lot of people use it to mean "average", but even that's a problem, because very, very few people are actually average: humans come in so many different shapes and sizes that there really isn't any such thing as a norm.

I'm going to link you to a couple of articles on the main site that you may find useful as well:
10 of the Best Things You Can Do for Your Sexual Self (at Any Age)
The Scarleteen Do-It

[ 02-11-2014, 05:52 PM: Message edited by: Karybu ]

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

Posts: 5799 | From: Canada/Australia | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Angelica Maria
Activist
Member # 96266

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One thing when I say the "norm" I really mean how superficials define it.

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*Angelica, A, A-Maria, Maria, Angie; address me as either of those* We shall never deny an individual's sexuality, even the most ridiculous identity. We are free to love who we love and identify our sexual orientation our way. Theres no rules!

Posts: 57 | From: NY, USA | Registered: Jul 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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I do not know what you mean by "superficials." If you mean people who are only concerned with people on the surface, know that even then, there is no one norm.

But regardless, our response voiced by Karyn stands. We are an organization focused largely on health, and when it comes to dieting, it is a health standard to consult with a doctor before doing that.

Obviously, that is a choice you get to make, you can choose not to, but dieting information is outside the scope of what we do, as is okaying weight loss plans for a user. If you want a go- ahead from someone this is safe or sound for you, the person to seek that out from is a healthcare provider you see in person.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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