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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Letting Yourself Feel Anger/Rage - how do YOU do it?

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Author Topic: Letting Yourself Feel Anger/Rage - how do YOU do it?
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 28346

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Anger can be a tricky emotion for some of us.

About 2.5 years ago I left my abusive partner with my then-3.5 year old. Other than one court appearance, I haven't seen him or had communication with him ever since. He sent my son a Christmas present this year and my son was offered the opportunity to talk with him on the phone (he declined, but is ecstatic that he hasn't been forgotten).

And you know what? I have been supremely, energetically full of rage over this, for about a week. It isn't fading.

I realized that I've spent the last few years being more angry at myself than at him, the person who did the abusing and has made the choice to not be a part of our son's life.

Now, I'm angry. I'm so, so, so angry at him and I think I'm finally feeling it.

I teach my son (who is now 6) that anger is a perfectly healthy and necessary emotion to feel, but you need to be safe with your anger. As someone who has the past tendency to engage in self-destructive behavior, this is tricky for me.

My rage has given me the energy to really clean and organize my apartment while I'm on break from school this week.

So I'm curious -- What do you do with your anger?

The beautiful thing about learning is nobody can take it away from you. - B.B. King

Posts: 1180 | From: WA | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
alex dubya
Member # 93291

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I'm also someone who has some self-destructive tendencies- in both the good times and bad.

I don't really get angry that often, but when I do, I do something relaxing that'll take my mind off of whatever I'm upset about, like reading a book or watching a movie or playing a computer game.
I do that for a while, and then later, when I'm physically and emotionally calmed down, I can work through what I was feeling and figure out what I can do constructively after that.

Posts: 5 | From: Los Angeles | Registered: Jan 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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