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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Going off the pill

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Author Topic: Going off the pill
Destinee Carols
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Member # 54626

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I've been on it for not quite a year now, and have been sexually active for a month less than that. My boyfriend and I have decided to try not having sex for a while - and by this, so far, I mean vaginal intercourse. For a few reasons: a) pills + contraceptives + lube not a HUGE cost but still a money drain when my income's not a lot; b) his stepdad caught us making out lying down on the couch at his place downstairs and told him that should I get pregnant, we would get no support from them; c) it's kind of stressful worrying about "What if the pill wasn't effective this time?"; d) being Christian, I don't really condone the whole premarital sex thing, for all that I'm being kinda hypocritical.

Mostly, to think about being pregnant is rather terrifying. It would be earth-shattering to find out that I was. At the moment, I'm waiting for my coming period to ensure I'm not. I'm not paranoid per se, but there's always a chance of course, and not having sex at all means no chance.

This all means that, conveniently, I won't be going to get a new prescription for my pills, as we decided that eliminating the safety net was probably best to help me stop. (Pretty sure I'm the one with shoddy self-control.) Which is nice, and all, but. It's been so long for me on the pill that I'm a little nervous to go off it. How will my body react? No more light periods. Mood-swingy? Bloating and cramps? Screwed up hormones? :S Not entirely looking forward to the end of the remaining ten pills.

Posts: 89 | From: Canada | Registered: Feb 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
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How your body reacts to stopping the pill is hard for us to predict, as that's a pretty individual thing and tends to be a little different for everyone.

What you will want to be prepared for, as that is fairly common, is for your menstrual cycle to be irregular for a few months while it finds its way back to a natural cycle. You may have no periods, periods that are earlier or later than expected, or periods that just look different than you are used to.

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Johanna
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"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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Destinee Carols
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Ick. Next couple of months should be fun. ):
Posts: 89 | From: Canada | Registered: Feb 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Redskies
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Hi Destinee,

firstly, obviously, if coming off the pill is the right decision for you, it's the right decision for you.

I just wanted to check you were aware of all your options. Do you genuinely Want to stop having sex, or are you feeling that you Should? I just ask because sometimes, what can happen when someone feels like they shouldn't have sex and don't use birth control for that reason is that they at some point have sex unplanned and without birth control - and obviously, that's a real pregnancy risk.

It's totally reasonable, when pregnancy is such an unwanted outcome, to not have intercourse. You said by "sex" you meant intercourse - if you're not going to have any sexual contact at all with your boyfriend, then obviously, there's no pregnancy risk and nothing that you could worry about. Sometimes, though, people who are very concerned about pregnancy get worried about kinds of sexual contact that don't pose a pregnancy risk. What I've heard some people do who really, really do not want to get pregnant, is not have intercourse And use birth control. That way, it's really, really sure, and they can be free of the worry.

Also, if you and your boyfriend are being sexual together, I imagine that that means He's also being sexual, you know, He's involved in that, too. If you're both being sexual together consensually, you're both doing the same events and making the decision to do that, so I'm not really seeing one person having more or less self-control than the other. It's not your job alone to police a decision you both make not to have sex, it's both of your responsibilities together, and he is responsible for his actions and decisions.

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The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

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Destinee Carols
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Member # 54626

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Thanks for checking up with me on those things. By sex right now mostly I mean vaginal intercourse (anal isn't/hasn't really ever been in the picture). We might do other things.

As for my boyfriend, I've posed the issue of not having sex before in the past, and he's readily said that he can be okay without. I never wanted to conclusively decide to stop, however, till now. He has no problems, but I did want him to help encourage me not to. Not like I would insist on doing it, ha.

As for eliminating the safety net, it's less of a risk really. Even on the pill I was insistent on using a condom for fear of getting pregnant, so it's very unlikely I would want to have sex without birth control. It's just that if I am still on it, I can give in.

Posts: 89 | From: Canada | Registered: Feb 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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