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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » happiness?

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Author Topic: happiness?
katie gurl
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it's not really anything specific, but i'll be fine & all of a sudden i'll just break down. i don't know what it is, but it sets me in a really bad mood & i can't take ANYTHING from anyone. it doesn't make my relationship work better, with any friends, siblings or even my boyfriend. i'm thinking it could be the birth control i have started to take. it's been 5 months since i started, but i can't remember how long this has been going on. definitely over a year...
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Djuna
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Hi Katie! I'm really sorry you're feeling like this. [Smile]

If this has been happening since before you started the birth control, it's not likely to be related.

When you talk about breaking down, can you tell me a little more of what you mean, or what happens? Too, do you think you can explain some of the feelings you have at that sort of time?

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In a strange room, before you are emptied for sleep, what are you. And when you are filled with sleep you never were. I dont know what I am. I dont know if I am or not... how often have I lain beneath rain on a strange roof, thinking of home.

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katie gurl
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well i usually will be sitting there doing something & i jut drop whatever i am doing & start crying. i feel useless & upset about i have no idea what, sometimes i feel like i'm not doing the right thing in my relationship, sometimes i lose the little bit of self confidence i have, or i feel like dying. it's so scary because idk how to fix it. i just sit there with a blank expression, or i hit my bed because idk what to do other than cry...
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Djuna
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Well, feeling low or depressed like this is something a lot of people go through, so feeling like this doesn't mean that you're not normal, and it certainly doesn't mean that you're useless, at all. [Smile]

I'm hearing you say that you don't know how to fix this - one important part of doing that is identifying it's happening and seeking help. That's some of what you've done here. Do you have anyone in-person you've been able to talk to about this? Too, do you have access to counselling services or a therapist? Professional help is really vital to recovering from feeling depressed for long periods like this.

If you're having suicidal thoughts, it's really important to seek help with those right away as they're happening. If you're comfortable sharing which country you're from and something like a zip code, I can find some telephone numbers you can call which are set up to give you someone to talk to about how you're feeling.

Do you want to talk some more about what some things you do that you enjoy are? Too, do you want to talk about your feelings about your relationship?

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In a strange room, before you are emptied for sleep, what are you. And when you are filled with sleep you never were. I dont know what I am. I dont know if I am or not... how often have I lain beneath rain on a strange roof, thinking of home.

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Heather
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katie: it sounds to me like you are potentially dealing with serious depression, including suicidal thoughts.

This is unlikely to be caused by your birth control method, however, it would be a very good idea to talk to a healthcare provider about this no matter what, and they can evaluate that as well as other things.

Depression is something that usually requires some kind of treatment to get better, and if things have gotten so bad you are thinking about harming yourself in any way, including via suicide, it is very, very important you let someone know in-person and ask for help so you can get some and start feeling better, as well as staying safe.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Kachina
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katie,

I suffer from depression myself, so I understand how you are feeling. I know it can be hard to ask for help, but I can tell you when I finally did get the courage to ask my parents for help and they put me in counseling (and eventually a hospital) it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

No one deserves the pain of depression. Please please try to ask a parent or teacher or school counselor for help. I don't think you'll regret it. I know therapy and medication saved my life.

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katie gurl
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i said something to my parents a few months back & they said i'm not serious & they think i am fine. they didn't believe me even though i maturely discussed it with them. i do get suicidal thoughts, but i don't ever wanna kill myself. more just like "i want to just go away & die." but never "i wanna scratch myself to death." i'm too afraid to EVER do anything! but maybe i'll try talking to my parents again & see if they believe me enough to bring me somewhere. that's all i've wanted to do for a while but they just ignored me/it.
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Karybu
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Do you have a family doctor that you see at all? They're often a good starting point for getting treatment, and if your parents aren't taking you seriously, a healthcare provider is also someone who can speak to them on your behalf. If you can handle it, talking to your parents again wouldn't hurt - you deserve not to feel like this anymore.

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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Kachina
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Most suicide victims DON'T want to kill themselves, but the pain can get so bad it seems like there is no other way to get rid of it. Suicide thoughts like your having (even if they don't seem serious yet) are the beginning of a cycle that tends to get worse without help.

I'm sorry to hear your parents don't believe you need help. Some people do not understand that depression is an illness like any other that needs medical attention, or how serious it really is. Perhaps you can ask them to just take you to a therapist or psychiatrist once and let the doctor diagnose if you really need help or not?

Also, do you have a school counselor? They can also offer you help with talking to your parents or referring you to a doctor.

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~Kat
Scarleteen Volunteer

Humans are allergic to change. They love to say, "We've always done it this way." I try to fight that. That's why I have a clock on my wall that runs counter-clockwise. - Grace Hopper

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katie gurl
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i'm gonna try talking to my parents again, we'll see if it will work. my school counselor is a joke, she doesn't understand anything. she's like ditzy & so pointless. i don't see a family doctor, but should i go to that? or a psychiatrist?
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Heather
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katie: would you say your parents seem generally caring and like sound thinkers to you? I ask because I can perhaps give you some things to explain to them around this that might help them be more supportive about counseling, if you think they'll be receptive.

With where to start, it kind of depends. If you're using health insurance for a counselor, an insurance provider will tend to have its own protocols for seeing specialists (anything but a general physician). So, if that's the way you'd be going, you'd need to find out how that goes with your provider.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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