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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » How do YOU support your loved ones/friends?

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Author Topic: How do YOU support your loved ones/friends?
Alice
Scarleteen Volunteer
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Most of us have loved ones (whether they're friends, family, partners, children, etc...) in our lives.

How do YOU support the important people in your life, particularly when they're going through a rough time? This can be very little (like smiling at them or hugging them) or bigger actions (like helping them get through school).

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The beautiful thing about learning is nobody can take it away from you. - B.B. King

Posts: 1180 | From: WA | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Alice
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I'll start!

When my boyfriend is stressed out, I do little things like clean up parts of his house (do laundry, dishes, organize papers, etc) because I know it's hard for him to be in a chaotic environment.

I also make time and energy to give him my full attention and I use good listening skills so he knows I care (like holding eye contact, nodding, offering support and reflecting his feelings back to him so he knows I understand).


Another friend of mine is very into music. When I know he is having a tough time, I send him links to youtube videos with songs I know he'd like.

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The beautiful thing about learning is nobody can take it away from you. - B.B. King

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bump on a log
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I bring my mother tea and toast and cuddle her and tell her what she wants to hear. I have two friends who have confided problems in me in the past, and that's usually involved long IMing sessions on gmail chat or Skype, when I just listen to, or rather read, whatever they have to say and make sympathetic noises and ask apposite questions.
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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I'm a big fan of specially crafted care packages that are a mix of things I know a friend or partner loves or is sentimental about and things that are just plain ridiculous and silly.

I also often just make an effort to express my willingness to provide help and support and ask if there is anything that person needs or wants that I can help them out with or provide.

Doing what I can to help people accomplish things is another biggie for me: if I can connect someone with a person or resource directly they can't seem to connect to themselves, or don't know about, I'm all over it.

Last, probably thanks to a long line of family who cooks, I cook for people. I do it all the time anyway, but when someone is feeling really rough, I'll usually make an effort to either make something really elaborate or to make a meal I know has their fave comfort foods in it.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Djuna
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The cooking for people thing is something I do a lot. Also, with the person I'm kinda seeing being in the US, I've sorted out to get takeout delivered to their flat when they were sick. [Smile]

I send people little messages a lot to provide moral support, just reminding them what an awesome force they are in my life. I also give out hour-long massages when my friends who are into that sort of thing are having a bad day, because that helps them relax and fulfils my need to give. [Razz]

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“In a strange room, before you are emptied for sleep, what are you. And when you are filled with sleep you never were. I don’t know what I am. I don’t know if I am or not... how often have I lain beneath rain on a strange roof, thinking of home.”

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moonlight bouncing off water
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If my mom or my dad are sad or sick I give them a hug and tell them how much I love them; I do extra cleaning around the house and I try to make things as easy for them as I possibly can. I give them space if they need it or I sit at the foot of their bed and watch the news with them. If it's my sister I'll try and make her laugh if she's in good enough spirits, and if she's not I just give her space. She usually likes to be left alone when she's upset.

When my boyfriend is upset I'm there for him. When I'm not physically there with him (say at 1 in the morning) I talk to him on the phone and listen to him talk. I hear out his problems and try to help him clarify what he's feeling then and there. If I can be physically present then I'm there with him laying on the couch, holing him in my arms and watching season after season of Corner Gas (I will never understand why that makes him feel better, but it does). Above all I just try to be the clear headed one for the moment, to be an anchor so that he can feel what ever he's feeling.

[ 06-09-2011, 07:56 PM: Message edited by: moonlight bouncing off water ]

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~moonlight

I am ME and that is the only label I need.

Posts: 859 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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