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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Scared to tell

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Author Topic: Scared to tell
Dee
Activist
Member # 56776

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I am really scared to tell.. The people that i love that i was raped and sexual abused... What do i do without feeling like they'll hate me?? or be disappointed that i didnt tell them ealier??
Posts: 63 | From: Fort Myers, FL | Registered: Feb 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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To start with, the process of disclosing sexual abuse can be pretty rough, so you never have to tell anyone. It's good to have a support system, but you absolutely get to talk to people at your own pace, and chose to talk only to people you trust and who you feel confident will support you.

So, can you identify anyone around you that you would feel comfortable talking to? If so, that's the person to start with.

Once you've told one or two people and have someone who's ready to support you and listen to you, it also becomes a little easier to tell other people.

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Dee
Activist
Member # 56776

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well my aunt and i are close.. But im scared she'd tell my mom
Posts: 63 | From: Fort Myers, FL | Registered: Feb 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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Do you think that, if you tell her how important it is that she not tell anyone else for the moment, she would respect that? Have you been able to trust her with other things before?

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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Dee
Activist
Member # 56776

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Yes i have been able to trust her.. We talk about sex and other things and she hasnt told but they weren't has important as the rape and the abuse
Posts: 63 | From: Fort Myers, FL | Registered: Feb 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
LimeGreenLovexX
Neophyte
Member # 58400

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I want to tell you something that happened to a friend of mine.

My best friend was raped when she was eleven, and she didn't tell for three months. When she did tell, her parents were not angry or mad that she didn't tell sooner. They were thankful that she told when she did.

I'm sure you understand that you need to be checked out at the hospital and that you need to get some help to sort out emotions and things like that, but telling your parents will lift the biggest weight off your shoulders. If, for some reason, your parents are mad or disappointed, you must not let it get you down. It may be easier to tell your aunt. If she knowns that it will make your parents mad, she'll help you figure out what to do.

Best of Luck and Lots of support,
-Hannah

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"Being Happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections" -Unknown

Posts: 11 | From: USA | Registered: Mar 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Dee
Activist
Member # 56776

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Thanks LimeGreenLovexX... But because im soo close to my aunt i feel more comfortable telling her then i would my own mom... I dont think she would tell until im ready... I mean she would help with the getting checked out and stuff but i no she would be there when i tell my mom
Posts: 63 | From: Fort Myers, FL | Registered: Feb 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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You can also ask your aunt to make an agreement with you around this: make clear to her that you want to disclose something to her that's really hard for you, but that you really need support in, but only feel comfortable doing so if she can agree, until you're ready to do so yourself, not to disclose to your Mom.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Dee
Activist
Member # 56776

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Thats such a great idea thank u soo much.. I will sooo do that... I think i could do it tonight because its screaming to come out of me

[ 03-10-2011, 03:01 PM: Message edited by: Dee ]

Posts: 63 | From: Fort Myers, FL | Registered: Feb 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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