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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Finding a counsellor/sexy problems

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Author Topic: Finding a counsellor/sexy problems
astrocyte
Activist
Member # 29128

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Hey,

I'm feeling like an ongoing mess when it comes to sex (partnered or not) and relationships. I really need to find someone I can talk to - I've seen counsellors before but have felt unable to bring up sexual issues, or unable to be sufficiently frank (once I had a counsellor who I could have talked to about it but I had different priorities then).

I'd like to be able to talk through some of the things here - I have intended to in the past but wussed out or not made time for it. I'd also like support in finding someone who seems like they will be helpful and then sticking with whatever course of action I decide on with them. I plan to try to contact some counsellors on Monday and I would like support in making sure I do that. (I do understand that the boards are particularly under pressure right now though. I'm feeling pretty devoid of energy right now but I'll try to help out where I can.)

I feel like a lot of how I experience my sexuality is too far outside the norm for me to be able to be honest when me and my friends are talking about sex, and it's really isolating. I know there probably isn't really a norm in sex but on the rare occasions that I have tried to talk about my problems, people don't seem to get it. Probably the quality of my explaining is not great - I don't think that sex is an embarrassing topic of conversation, but I feel like a freak and that IS embarrassing (not that anyone is a freak because of their sexuality, this is just how I feel about myself).

So being able to talk about it here would be a really good start, thanks for listening.

-Em

Posts: 79 | From: the southern hemisphere | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
breath
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 50014

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Dear Em,

Please know that this space is for you to write anything as you like it without feeling the pressure or need to explain anything UNLESS you want to. All of us here are avaliable to support you as you try a hand at expressing your feelings about your sexuality.


I also think that finding a counselor to talk to someone is person is great idea, and it's often times the case for people to have to wait and try different people before finding someone they feel most comfortable with.

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September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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Em, I promise you that you are not a freak.

We'd be happy to listen to you, and to help you sort out any confusion. Please don't worry about taking up our time: we provide this service because we feel that it is important, and we provide it for you all to use. So just focus on yourself, and we'll take care of things on our end. [Smile]

--------------------
Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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astrocyte
Activist
Member # 29128

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Thanks breath, Even though this is such an accepting space, I still feel freaked out about talking about this, so it's really nice to a supportive response so quickly. I think talking to different people first is definitely a good idea, I'm just quite bad at actually getting of my arse and doing it.

I'm going to try to get some sleep now (I'm staying in a big house alone, which is quite anxiety-provoking for me), and I'll try to write more tomorrow.

Posts: 79 | From: the southern hemisphere | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
breath
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 50014

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Em, I have certainly been in situations where I found it very very hard to talk to someone what was happening or how I was feeling about a particular topic in my life. I felt a huge rush of feelings and felt that no one would be able to understand what I was going through. I couldn't connect with anyone around me or my family or friends, so i certainly understand the feeling very very well.


Talking about any kind of sexuality /Sex related things-- for anyone - can be embrassing, difficult and something that many of us only get comfortable after trying over time. For example, I didn't feel comfortable talking about sex or sex-related things until only recently and can only do in certain kind of environment/people that is supportive/understanding.


Take care.

[ 01-16-2011, 12:55 AM: Message edited by: breath ]

Posts: 357 | From: US | Registered: Nov 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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