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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Will Sex Be enjoyable PLEASE HELP

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Author Topic: Will Sex Be enjoyable PLEASE HELP
Member # 44758

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i have been dating my boyfriend for almost half a year now. He is not a virgin and i am. I feel as though i am ready to loose it to him..and know it will happen soon. I have never been able to orgasim threw a partner..i can do it myself by both clitoral and fingering..but usualyl guys dont pay enough attention to clitoral stimulation so i do not orgasm...Will sex be different than just plain fingering...Will i be able to enjoy it or will I just dry up and it be painfull and awkward.. What can i do so I can stay wet threw the whole thing? Will lube keep me wet the entire time? I am not planning on not using a condom( not that stupid) but if i was not to..will his juices keep me wet throughout the entire time..and not just rely on mine! please help i need help on what to do because this is what is stopping me..since I can never organism threw oral sex..will sex not be pleasurable..and will i make it awkward and dry up?
Posts: 6 | From: canada | Registered: Nov 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
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This is a lot of questions, so let's try and start basic, okay?

Most women do not reach orgasm from intercourse alone. Some do, but the majority don't. So, if you're already finding you don't reach orgasm with partners because they don't spend enough time with your whole body or clitoris, your experience with intercourse will likely be like that, too. However, most people, when they have intercourse, don't ONLY have intercourse, either. When you're not getting the stimulus you want, you say something to a partner so they know what you need: a good partner responds to that easily.

What we generally do to stay wet throughout intercourse, when vaginal lubrication doesn't stick around the whole time (and often it won't), is to just add a lubricant from a bottle. Uncircumcised men produce their own lubrication, but little of it, and circumcised men don't produce any at all. Pre-ejaculate is a scanty amount of fluid. In other words, you can't rely on a male partner's body to lubricate yours.

We can't tell you what you will or won't enjoy: we don't know you, we aren't in your body, and we also don't know what your sex life is like now. Are you enjoying things with this partner as it is now?

Just so you know, no kind of sex just "happens." Everyone involved gets to choose what does and doesn't happen, so if it felt to you like going to intercourse now was too soon -- for example, perhaps you and your boyfriend need to spend more time learning how to have other kinds of sex be more enjoyable for you first -- you get to have a say in that and make your choices accordingly.

We can keep talking, but I want to give you a couple things to read first:

Yield for Pleasure
The Great No-Orgasm-from-Intercourse Conundrum
Sexual Response & Orgasm: A Users Guide

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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