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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » so young

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Author Topic: so young
Member # 42270

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I'm scared of growing up, responsibilities, and trying new things (i.e., failure). I am involved in a lot of improv and acting in which you have to be prepared to fail. However, after my first year at university, I feel very frail and insecure to try my hand at new things. I know that if I try, I would be able to achieve these things. I don't know where to start to get my life back on track.
Posts: 125 | From: Canada | Registered: Feb 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 43486

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I think I know how you're feeling. I'm just about to start college, and that scares me because of all the responsibilities attached to it. I'm a huge fan of acting, too! I was in a play every year of high school, and am now looking to audition for community theatre. I'm very impressed that you do improv; I tried it before but am terrible at it. You have to think on your feet so much! It looks great though, and I bet it's a lot of fun.

What I just did was talk to one of my friends about how scared and insecure I'm feeling, and I feel a lot better now. Just getting all those emotions out in the open can be really cathartic. Take some time to decide what it is you want to try. Don't jump into too much at once. It's great that you want to get your life back on track, and I think knowing that is the first step. Does your university have any counselors you can talk to?

Posts: 52 | From: Canada | Registered: Jul 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 39222

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I'm not sure if this helps or not, but you're not alone. I think it's fairly normal to be a little uncertain when a major change like going to college comes about. Personally (compounded due having bipolar disorder), I struggled a lot in the beginning to find my comfort zone.

It can take a while, but taking even small steps can help. No one says you have to try everything at once. I assume there are at least some clubs or other regular activities or volunteering at your school. If you're up for it, it might help to pick something, try it once or twice, and then if it's not for you that's not a failing, just a mismatch. If the first doesn't work out, try something else.

Of course this is rather simplified. I know for myself it was hard to get involved in the beginning and I skipped a lot of things that sounded interesting. Definitely I know that was a lot of my illness speaking, but I've heard it from fellow students that it's not unusual whether there's something underlying or not. Certainly, most colleges/universities have some form of counseling center. You don't have to have a 'major' issue (such as depression, major personal problems, etc.) My school's counseling center is always reminding people that they can help with nearly anything you want to talk about or want more advice about in school. And if you have friends or such, talking them over together might help as well.

Posts: 46 | From: USA | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 35071

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I basically locked myself in my room my freshman year and it wasn't until my sophomore year that I moved off-campus and started to get to know more people. The truth is, you meet a lot of people you don't want to ever be friends with, but you also meet those select few who are awesome and can show you new things. If you have friends already and feel you have a strong relationship with them, ask them to try something new with you and maybe you'll end up adopting someone from that new experience into your friend circle.

I never found clubs or university sports interesting; that's not how I wanted to meet other people. I'm a pretty gutys person and consider myself very extroverted, but I don't think you necessarily have to be to meet people in your classes. I always sat next to someone and tried to continue to sit next to them throughout the semester. After the first week, you'll start to feel really comfortable striking up a conversation with them. See what works and let us know how it goes.

Posts: 23 | From: Boulder, CO | Registered: Aug 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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