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Author Topic: anxiety
king lear
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Member # 37857

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I don't really know where to start...

I feel anxious, and worried often. I feel like what I'm doing isn't good enough for everyone around me. It is really disheartening. In fact, it's like this feeling is impacting my heart/chest area because it starts beating faster, and the area feels uncomfortalbe.

This heavy uncomfortable feeling led me to check it out at the docs and I got a bunch of tests done and they said everything was totally fine. He labeled it as stress.

I am currently attending a new school (post-secondary), and I am feeling these things again.

When I look at pictures online of my friends, whom I used to be close with having a lot of fun I begin to feel anxious. Like what I'm doing, (staying home and doing school work), is not good enough. It's really stressful. I feel like I am not contributing to my social life at all, but in turn, no one asks me to participate.

I feel like I should try and be involved, but at the same time I feel really sad that no one asks me, how I'm doing, or to hang out, or how everything is going...

I don't know who to talk to because one of my best friends is away on a trip for a long time.

Everyone goes out to party every weekend and I feel anxious when this topic is brought up. I don't know why, because a couple of years ago I used to go out all the time. Don't get me wrong, I am a very outgoing person! I don't know why I have become so secluded. Maybe I feel scared to put myself in vulnerable positions?

I feel like I need some help, or some input...I don't know what to do with myself...

These little things make me worry and feel bad even though they shouldn't!

For example - I feel bad if I don't contact this one friend often...even though she doesn't start conversations often...

I'm so nervous about what to do about school. And for the most part, I really DO want to make friends. I do. I was so excited to start fresh and new at school...and the whole time I've been sad and bummed. And I don't know how to change this. I can't sleep at night recently.

...the thing that is important is that I can't sleep, but I feel tired during the day.

I want to be happy. I want to change how I feel. I just don't know where to start.

Posts: 47 | From: Canada | Registered: Apr 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
king lear
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Oh...I also feel like I can't go a day without somehow contacting my friends because I feel like lonely, or scared that if I'm not talking to them this will some how impact our friendship...

Lately, when I'm with my boyfriend I don't feel 100% there because I worry about homework, and if I'm doing the right thing to be happy...

I'm so confused...I feel like friends are separate from the boyfriend, and when I'm with him I think, "ooh my friends are at a party and having so much fun...I'm not doing anything but sitting on a couch.."

And then when I go out with my friends I think, "oh, how is my boyfriend..." Or, I sometimes feel like what they are doing (partying,getting wasted, flings with boys) is so pathetic.

AHHH!!! I don't know what to do! I am always feeling/thinking about something else rather then what is in the present and right in front of me ......WHAT DO I DO!?

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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In Buddhism, what we'd call a lot of what you are describing is simply not being present.

In other words, when you're with friends, you're not really all there, but focused on what else you should be doing, where else you should be, so you can't really enjoy being in the moment with them.

What might help you out is just, when you're feeling that, kind of checking it, then doing what you can to BRING yourself into the moment. Even just some affirmations in your head can help, things like, "I am right where I am supposed to be," or "This is what I am supposed to be doing," or simply, "I am good enough: this is good enough." Sometimes even just taking a deep breath and doing what you can to focus on where you are -- even if you have to do it more than once -- can help.

Where do you feel like your self-standards are coming from in terms of what is good enough, or what all you "should" be doing? Do you feel like you might be able to adjust those standards and be more present, especially since it seems like you can see they're not making you happy?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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king lear
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Hi - I actually do use an affirmation that helps me sometimes - "I am in the right place, and the right time, with the right people."


...sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't...I just need a way to feel like me again...


I totally and completely agree with what you are saying in the last section, and I am working towards finding out what makes me happy...My boyfriend makes me happy but I feel exactly like you are describing, which is basically "disconnected..."

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king lear
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[sorry double post]

[ 11-29-2008, 10:15 PM: Message edited by: king lear ]

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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It sounds to me like the doctor you saw was pretty dismissive of your anxiety: did you see a psychiatrist, or just a general doctor?

If you only saw a general doctor, my suggestion would be to see a psychiatrist or psychologist about this. Anxiety, when it's a constant like you're describing, isn't just about stress, and for many people who struggle with anxiety disorders, reducing or removing stresses alone sometimes just isn't enough or doesn't help much.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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hunnybunny888
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are there times when it is okay, and times when it is worse? Are there times when it gets really intense and you just have to sit back for a few minutes? Have you noticed any physiological symptoms (increase in heart beat, or sweating) when you get anxious? Do you think you are sometimes afraid to leave the house or approach people for no real reason?
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