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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Illness makes me too tired to have sex

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Author Topic: Illness makes me too tired to have sex
Member # 24641

Icon 1 posted      Profile for wyntermidnite     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Well, I have some mystery illness they are still running tests, but basically I am tired all the time. I have almost no endurance or stamina anymore. Before i was a healthy, active 19 year old female, now I can walk and be lighty active for maybe 5-15 minutes before I have to sit down with a racing heartbeat, dizzyness and just being super tired.

Basically my symptoms seem to be the same as my mom's mystery illness, they never found out what was wrong but she had to take months off of work over the last year, and eventually didn't have the energy to walk 20 feet without falling to the floor to rest, and I'm scared its only going to get worse for me.

I have a boyfriend of 2 1/2 years and our sex life has gotten really great over the months with communication and understanding and some 'technique' help from some online sources. We tried a few days ago to have sex and I was just to tired to get fully into it, and we stopped after a few minutes.

Is there anyone out there who has had medical problems that has caused them to be unable to have sex? I'd just like to hear how they coped, what conversations they had with their partners, how they felt about it? I think my boyfriend will be really understanding, but the situation is sure to cause some strain. It'd just be nice to talk to people who have been through this, so we could relate and share our experiences.

Posts: 70 | From: Fullerton, CA, USA | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Member # 28076

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I'm sorry I didn't see this sooner.

I've never had medical problems that have caused me specifically to be unable to have sex: however, I have spent years on severely sedating medications for a medical condition.

I dropped out of college multiple times, my relationships suffered, I couldn't hold down a job. When my parents weren't there to wake me up once I went away to college, I slept as many as 16 hours a day.

It's still something I have difficulty talking about: sometimes I would wake up, look at the clock and see how long I had slept, and just cry. It still stings to be 23 and know that all of my high school friends have gotten degrees and have jobs, while I've just returned to school to try again.

I'm afraid I can't give you much advice about sex, but I did want to say that, oh, I know that feeling of being so tired all of the time, and not being able to do a damn thing about it.

I'd consider, even if you haven't been diagnosed with it, is looking into a support group for suffers of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be. -Douglas Adams.

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Posts: 446 | From: Seattle | Registered: Mar 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 39724

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Hi there, I'm sorry to hear about your mystery illness [Frown] The realization of persisting symptoms, medical visits, testing, trial and error treatments...that in and of itself is capable of exhausting a person battling health issues.

I have struggled with hyperthyroidism and chronic fatigue syndrome. It has come and gone over the last 6 years with no correlation to life events or any other factors I've been able to identify along with my doctor. I can relate to the effects it can have on your sex life. Some illnesses can also have a direct impact on your libido if, for example, it affects your body's ability to produce or regulate certain hormones.

It's great to hear that you and your partner have open communication and are able to have a conversation around this topic. As the previous poster stated, it can be very helpful to find a support group or online forum specific to individuals with the symptoms you're struggling with, even a diagnosis hasn't been arrived upon. I wish you the best of luck [Smile]

A great deal of our unhappiness can be traced back to our society's simultaneous respect for individuality and demand for conformity

Posts: 21 | From: Portland, Maine | Registered: Aug 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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