Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Crushed...

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Crushed...
ds0915ss
Neophyte
Member # 37553

Icon 9 posted      Profile for ds0915ss     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 1 year and 8 months (exactly today) and I was doing my biology homework and it was about STD's and stuff and it said to prevent it by checking your partners sexual history. Well, i began to think about it and we have never really talked about it before, I mean i knew he had sex with his high school girlfriend and I am still a virgin but thats about it. So, I decided I would ask him about it, not worrying but just to make sure, if it wasn't just that 1 he would have told me right? WRONG! I asked him and he told me there was 1 other girl 1 other time...my heart dropped how could he have kept this from me for so long? I am so torn up inside, it took me so long to get over the fact that he wasn't a virgin and I wouldn't be his first but now I wont even be his second. This means so much to me and he says he regrets it and he is sorry for not telling me and if he could take everything back he would. I know he means it and I really love him but I feel like he has been leading me on this whole time to make me believe there was only 1. I lost so much trust and respect for him i dont know what to do.I dont know how to move pass this. I dont think anything will ever be the same...
Please help! Any Advice??

Posts: 7 | From: ohio | Registered: Mar 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Have you seen this yet?

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/managing_vulnerability_sexual_insecurity

It's written for a male user, but the advice I gave him is what I'd basically tell anyone on these issues.

Too, while a partner being dishonest is never really excusable, if you two haven't ever really talked about history until this late in the game, it might have felt difficult for him to put it out there (though it should be noted that knowing history isn't actually a protection against STIs: only safer sex practices accomplish that). As well, if you gave the impression that already, his having another partner before you was a problem -- and that's tricky, since it's a problem he has no power to fix -- he might also have felt less able to be honest with you. If a partner makes clear or gives the impression that something in our past just isn't okay with them, knowing we can't change our past, it can be a pretty rough thing to deal with.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3