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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » I am a para when it comes to manual sex

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Author Topic: I am a para when it comes to manual sex
Member # 37809

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Hi scarleteen.
I happend to be a major worrier, but my new worry is i always think i have gotten my gf pregnant through manual sex, even if my hand was dry.Everytime i have performed manual sex on her i always get the "what if " feeling until her monthly. I think the main reason for this is when you have intercourse when the condom breaks you know theres a risk and you take ec. But when you perform manual sex you just dont know. When ever i perform manual sex on my gf, my hands have always been dry , but if i had pre-cum on my hand and 10mins later my hand was dry i would still insit on washing my hands. Even then when i perform manual sex i get that feeling that i feel shes pregnant when i know fine well, shes not.I am very careful when it comes to manual sex and i know am not silly and put a finger which has wet semen or precum on it into my gf gentails, but my brain keeps making things up saying it was wet etc. I've talked to her about it several times and she thinks its silly but also, it shows i care and i do. I prefer not to talk to her about this ,this month mainly cause of exams in May and i dont want to get her worried even though i know theres no risk. We have both tried to stop manual sex between each other but hormons have always taken over and i end up doing it, i mean dont get me wrong i enjoy it but i hate the after effect of the "what if " feeling.
Is there something wrong with me ? or is this natural?

Thank you for your time

Posts: 4 | From: marz :D | Registered: Apr 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 37371

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It's normal to have some worries about pregnancy (take a look at this thread). If you think you are worrying too much, it might make sense to take a break for a while from the activity that is causing you to worry. And if you aren't already, you could use a condom during manual play as another way to reduce the chances of transferring semen or precum during manual sex.
Posts: 47 | From: San Francisco, CA | Registered: Mar 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 36725

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Turtlesaregreen: While it is normal to worry about pregnancy, when the worrying is so strong - and as you've said yourself you knew there was no risk of her becoming pregnant - you really need to stop a minute and assess the situation. Sex can bring about a lot of different feelings, but when one of the other pertner's feelings are discomfort (even discomfort afterwards with such a worry about pregnancy) then sex shouldn't be happening.

You really need to talk with your girlfriend about how this has been making you feel. You shouldn't have to be so worried about pregnancy anytime you choose to have some form of sex together - and until the time that you can honestly say you're completely comfortable you really shouldn't be having sex.

Really there's a lot of other outlets for the feelings you have towards one another that wouldn't make you feel so uncomfortable in the end. You could try turning on some music and dancing, tossing a ball around the in yard, taking a walk together, or even if you feel you're going to do something you'll worry so much about later being able to take a step back and say "I'm a bit uncomfortable with this right now and need a little bit of me time."
Pregnancy Risk Assessment: Manual Sex
Ready or Not? The Scarleteen Sex Readiness Checklist
Be a Blabbermouth! The Whys, Whats and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner

"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side" ~Anon

Posts: 3429 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Jan 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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