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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » I went to a support group!

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Author Topic: I went to a support group!
hs123
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I went to a support group and it was awesome! I wish I'd have gone sooner, but whatever, I guess I have to give myself to do these things...
Whatever, but it was awesome... i dunno why I liked it so much, but i did... I thought it'd just be a bunch of people staring at me, but turns out I didn't have to talk at all... and whatever, I dunno, it made me feel A LOT better.
Is that even normal???

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Leabug
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Oh that's totally normal- and great to hear! I'm glad you had such a positive experience with your support group. [Smile]

(As a side note, since I know you're also struggling with the Crohn's stuff, have you ever considering finding a Crohn's support group? If you're in a larger city, there may be one where you live, and I've found the support helps with this sort of stuff as well.)

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Lea

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hs123
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I havent at all. I mean, I found out that a number of my friends have crohn's... Apparently it's extremely common in people of my religion... so I haven't really considered that...
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Leabug
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It's actually really, really prevalent in North America, particularly amongst people of Eastern European descent (not knowing what religion or race you are, I don't know if that explains anything for you!). But yeah- I'd totally recommend seeing if you can find a support group for that too. I know you're struggling enough with your rape, let alone having this health stuff thrown on top of it all, and having someone to vent to/get tips from about the health stuff might help you be able to move past that and focus on the more important things you have to deal with right now. [Smile]

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Lea

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hs123
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I'm an ashkenazic jew... so yeah, ashkenazic pretty much means eastern decent, not middle eastern or spain...
i wonder if maybe (i know stress doesn't cause it, but i had this dicussion with someone about how enviornmental factors cause things to "break" if you're predisposed) the whole sexual assault thing, and the stress and all that came from it caused it to break, though like I've said, I've been having stomach problems long before it ever happened.

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hs123
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ACTUALLY- this is a seperate question, but I didn't think I should start a totally new thread for it..
So, I was talking to my friend about everything and he really kept impressing on me that if you were raped, you can go to the doctor and they can tell... TO which I kept saying, maybe a day or two after, but not weeks or months after--- Actually It was kindof an awkward conversation because I kept having to say, "they can't tell by the "state of your vagina" only if there's semen or tears"... But anyways, he kept saying, no that's not true and so on...
BUT- just to double check, even though I'm 99.9 percent positive, a doctor can't just tell if you're raped, right? I mean, you have to go in right after, and even then it's not a sure thing unless there's like, a lot of evidence, right? I mean, one would have to have visible tears, or semen?

I did go to the GYN, just a few weeks after it happened, I mean, I got fully checked, the full STD screaning and the works.
But, I just wanted to really make sure that my friends not right... Like I said, I would pretty much bet my life that he's not...

[ 04-05-2008, 11:34 PM: Message edited by: hs123 ]

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orca
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Your friend is wrong. Unless there are visible tears, bruises, and/or semen, a doctor won't be able to tell. That's why it's so important that a rape kit be done as soon after a person is raped as possible and preferrably before they shower, too, otherwise that biological evidence is lost. Once the bruises and cuts have healed, there is no way of telling from looking at the vagina.

That's actually a great question, though, because a lot of people don't realize that and they take a shower first or wait a while before going to get a rape kit done only to be told that one can't be performed because there's no evidence to collect.

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Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

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hs123
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Well I mean, I really only went to the GYN in the first place to make sure I was still healthy, not for any evidence to be collected, since I didn't plan on reporting it or anything, and at the time I wasn't wondering if I had or had not been raped... That's really the only reason I wish I had gone in sooner, just to know...But at the time, that just wasnt on my mind...
That's really my biggest regret, because it's something I really wonder about.
I mean, I know youre not supposed to shower and all that stuff but really, nobody's thinking that at the time it happens. I mean, I know, I wasn't really thinking anything right afterwards, except I just wanna FORGET anything happened.
I mean, I knew that before it happened, that you shouldn't shower and like, not to wash your clothes... But it's just not something I was worrying about at the time... And I don't really think that that's a bad thing. It just... IS.

But thanks for the answer... Afterall when someone tells you, "Yeah, you can find out, they do it on TV all the time..." (haha) I shoulda been 100 percent positive that I was right!

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September
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"i wonder if maybe (i know stress doesn't cause it, but i had this dicussion with someone about how enviornmental factors cause things to "break" if you're predisposed) the whole sexual assault thing, and the stress and all that came from it caused it to break, though like I've said, I've been having stomach problems long before it ever happened."

Yep, you're on to something here. I had my biggest Crohn's flare up so far mere months after I was raped. I'd already been diagnosed with Crohn's for six years, but I'd been in remission for a while and was doing great. Then the assault happened, a couple of months later I was on Prednisone again for the first time in an age, and another couple of months later I had major surgery. Not really a coincidence - though I didn't notice it until my mother pointed it out to me later and brought it up with a doctor, who said it was likely that played a role.

Anyway, glad to hear going to the support group is helpful for you! Good on you for taking that step. [Smile]

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Johanna
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"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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