Donate Now
Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply
my profile | directory login | register | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Emotionally Self Destructive Relationships

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Emotionally Self Destructive Relationships
sarahwashere87
Neophyte
Member # 37807

Icon 1 posted      Profile for sarahwashere87     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I have a pattern when I get close to people in a "romantic" relationship where I seem to hit the self-distruct button and cannot seem to help blowing the relationship to peices.
I turn into a mean, manipulating person, changing the rules w/o informing the other person and seem to get distant, angrey and resentful.
I'm woundering if anyone else has had similar problems allowing someone to get close to them, and how they deal with the icky feelings that come along w/ being in a relationship.
I have not had a true relationship in almost three years because I felt that I was not emotionly mature enough to handle one, but now I'm thinking it would be nice to have someone else in my life, but I do not want to repeate this behavior for both mine and my future partners mental health.

[ 04-04-2008, 03:11 PM: Message edited by: sarahwashere87 ]

Posts: 22 | From: United States | Registered: Apr 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Blue Koi
Activist
Member # 39785

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Blue Koi     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
It's great that you recognized that you were not ready to have a relationship and were able to act accordingly. I've always had this thing at about 1 month, where I get distant and I always break it off because I was scared to get attached, my parents didn't want me dating, and I was afraid that since I was such a go-getter in life, having a relationship would impede my "progress" (I am very very heartless). What finally changed was that I was emotionally ready and just happened to meet the right person who was willing to fight for me when it came to that 1 month mark, I decided to try it (get over my fears of potentially getting hurt later IF we broke up, which, being a practical person, I knew had a really likely chance of happening because I was going to go off to college the next year), and it was a great relationship.

That was just my experience. Here are some helpful things you might want to check out

Ready or Not? THe Scarleteen Sex Readiness ChecklistHelpful hint on this one. For each question, pause and really answer the question, outloud or written down is even better. Sometimes I just skim read and go "yeah, yeah, I know all this," and sure I know the questions, but the key is to ANSWER the question and be honest!
Supermodel: Creating & Nurturing Your Own Best Relationship Models
This could be especially helpful in helping you answer your question: Potholes & Dead Ends: Relationship Roadblocks to Look Out For

--------------------
"Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions."

Posts: 171 | From: USA/CHINA | Registered: Aug 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

Quick Reply
Message:

HTML is not enabled.
UBB Code™ is enabled.

Instant Graemlins
   


Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3