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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Just need to vent

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Author Topic: Just need to vent
Member # 35227

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My boyfriend told me a story today that really shook me up.

A friend of his was with a group of buddies (including a few girls), when they were all robbed by several men at gunpoint. Apparently the muggers, not satisfied with stealing their cell phones and money, groped a couple of the girls.

I almost cried when I heard that last part. I started imagining what it would be like to be sexually assaulted at gunpoint, and my heart went out to those girls. I feel angry and I want nothing more than for those men to be castrated, but most of all I feel terrified. I have been mugged three times in the past year, and ever since the first mugging I have been terrified of being raped or assaulted in any other way.

What freaks me out the most is that this incident ocurred in my boyfriend's middle-class neighborhood, which I previously assumed to be very safe. Now I'm scared to go to his house. And what terrifies me above all is that this sort of incident, which was previously unheard of in sleepy little Costa Rica, has now become more and more common.

I'm sad for those girls, furious at men who do this kind of thing and scared to death about being raped, or even being mugged again. Sorry for the long post, but I needed to vent.

Posts: 149 | From: Costa Rica | Registered: Sep 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 36539

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I feel for you & those girls. I was molested by my uncle when I was 9 and he was living in my house for about a year. And since then I've been terrified of getting raped or assaulted everday of my life. For my last birthday my dad bought me mace and a taser. It really does make me feel safer and I always keep it on me, even if its just from my car to my front door. So I really recommend buying some mace & even a taser just so it might make you feel just a bit safer even if its just walking outside to get the newspaper.
Posts: 25 | From: California | Registered: Jan 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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One truth about the world that's often very tough to deal with -- especially if you had different expectations -- is that when it comes to sexual violence, there are no "safe" neighborhoods or areas. Sexual violence happens just as much in the suburbs as in the city, just as much in wealthy communities as poor ones, and a lot of the ideas people have about who gets violated and who perpetrates tend to be false. For instance, your average rapist is white, is around 30, and almost a quarter of them are married.

Sexual assault, too, isn't really uncommon anywhere. In places where it seems to be, it's often instead an issue of it not being made visible. It happens everyone, and can happen to anyone, particularly women.

Like I said, I know that when the blinders come off like this for people, it can be incredibly tough. And by all means: be angry. But at the same time, it might be helpful to realize that your level of danger has likely changed in no way, you've just been made more aware of it now.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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