So, last semester of school I was very unhappy of which I turned to cough syrup and weed to help me out. I smoked alot of weed of which led me to try out other drugs in the summer. Such as coke and acid, both only tried once. But I realized that I was doing the drugs for the wrong reasons, which was to escape from feeling unhappy (sad, lonely, angry, outsider...) And my two closest friends don't even like weed, of which I am very relived about. I'll call them Tammy and Jane, Jane I have known all my life, Tammy I have been close to for 6 years. So I made a goal to be okay with myself sober/striaght before I do drugs, and even by then, I am sure that I won't want to do drugs because I won't feel I need to. My guy-friend at college has become a huge pothead, to the point of shaking hands from withdrawl of weed for a week. and I thought it was so sad. When he offered me some weed, I was so happy that I turned it down, and even better, WANTING to turn it down. So I felt GREAT about this! I email Jane and tell her, I haven't gotten a response. But when I texted Tammy her response was "wow don't you sound like a pothead" I responded with "well, I kinda was... jesus that was a shitty response" and she never responded from that. And, it's not JUST that she responded that way, it's the fact that I have supported her in many ways when she was getting over her abusive boyfriend, even when I knew she was kidding herself about "being over him" I said "omg! that is so great! I am so happy for you!" I am just so worried that I won't get enough support from the ones closest to me and I don't know what to do. I don't want my family/sisters to know because... I just don't want them to know right now. Because they are part of the reason I was doing drugs. They love me, and support me, it's just that I am the youngest and better yet, have a learning disability so what I say always tends to be written off or not taken seriously. Sorry this was so wrong. But I am so afraid I won't get enough support and feel sad about it and do stupid **** again. I don't know what to do.
"You could spend your whole life preserving it, but never really doing anything with it." Posts: 31 | From: Arizona | Registered: Jan 2007
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Congratulations to you for taking yourself in a positive direction. That deserves a lot of applause!
I'm sorry your friends' response was so anticlimactic, but I think it's 'cause she simply didn't understand the depth your dependence on drugs was. Sure, not everyone who had a problem with drug use was a Lohan-type drug addict. But if your drug use was making you feel bad, then it IS a problem, no matter what the clinical definitions might be.
I think you should have a real heart-to-heart with your friends. Tell them how low you used to feel, and what role the drugs played in your life. Tell them about the despair, and how instead of trying to bring yourself out of despair, you were covering it up with drugs.
Then tell them about the changes in your life that you've made. Tell them how affirming your experiences rejecting drugs have been.
When they see just how much you really have turned around, then they will appreciate the changes you are making in your life.
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