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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Therapy and anti-depressants

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Author Topic: Therapy and anti-depressants
luvinhp89
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The past two months I have spent without my boyfriend have been horrible. I have felt so lonely and worthless. It wouldn't be so bad if we would have broken up and stayed out of each other's lives but we tried so hard to be friends and it ended up killing me more in the end. We have had sex several times after the relationship ended and everytime he acts like he cares about me more than he does. He always says how much he misses me and how much he cares about me but he just throws me away after we're done having sex.

I have cut myself so many times. My arms and legs literally bear the scars of my sadness. I actually cut myself so bad one time that I bled through my shirt. This pain I feel, both physically and mentally has just gotten to be too much.

I had my first counseling session yesterday. It went very well. My only concern is that my doctor wants to prescribe me an anti-depressant to treat my depression as well as OCD. I'm nervous because I've heard how dangerous they can be. She says it will help my depression and that I should go on them.

I was just wondering if anyone else currently is or has been on any anti-depressants. I'd like to hear your personal stories. Thanks.

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JamsessionVT
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lunvinhp89, would you like us to move this thread somewhere where it can get more hits? Only volunteers are allowed to reply in these threads, and you will get more opinions and advice if we move it to a section, like Support Groups, where everyone can see it.

Does that sound good?

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Abbie
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luvinhp89
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Yes, that sounds like a good idea Jamsession, I just wasn't sure where to post it...
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JamsessionVT
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Alright, I'll have someone move it for you!

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Abbie
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Posts: 3987 | From: Greater Burlington Area, Vermont | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
acs79
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Sorry for the overly long post...

I have struggled with serious depression since I was 13. I first went on anti-depressants when I was just barely 21; my coping mechanisms just weren't good enough for what I was going through. Going on Lexapro was one of the best decisions that I have ever made, combined with therapy with a psychologist. The anti-depressant didn't make me happy and it didn't make all of my problems go away; rather, it enabled me to actually begin to work on my problems and issues. If I hadn't had it during a really serious breakup, that landed me in a black hole for two years even with it, I don't know where I would be.

I finally went off Lexapro simply because I was tired of taking it and didn't want to be tied to it for the rest of my life. About a month and a half ago, my doctor put me on Zoloft for anxiety, OCD, and depression. Once again, it was the right decision, coupled with therapy. I'm still pretty anxious, but I'm slowly getting better at working past anxious paralysis and getting at the root of why I'm anxious, depressed, and OCD.

Anti-depressants do have side effects, however. I've seen them in myself and in my numerous family members and friends who are on them. Some of these side effects are physical. Both the Lexapro and the Zoloft have given me some pretty serious night terrors. The Zoloft makes me nauseous, sleepy, and weak each time I increase a dose (I'm gradually working up to a full dose). It also has seriously decreased my appetite.

While Lexapro is considered to have some of the mildest side effects, and I didn't feel anything on it (other than the vivid nightmares), I have had friends who had horrible physical side effects. The same goes with Zoloft. It's possible that the first, or second, or even third anti-depressant that your doctor puts you on won't work for you. It could make you more depressed, or it could make you feel emotionless, or you could have physical problems. Be patient and try different medications until you find the one that is right for you.

You're already taking a major step in the right direction by talking to a therapist. I have found that the medication makes my time with a therapist much more productive. Anti-depressants won't make your sadness go away and it won't help you get over your ex immediately. But it can really help you work through your pain and work on your issues. Anti-depressants don't work for a lot of people, like my brother, but on the other hand, they do work for many, including me. I have never regretted taking them.

If you want to know more about how anti-depressants work and how your brain functions and depression, anxiety, and ocd, a really good book came out a little while ago, called The Synaptic Self. Can get technical, but if you can begin to understand your emotions and your reactions, combined with understanding the physical side of depression, it can help you get a better handle on what's going on.

Good luck with all of this. Going through this type of experience is excruciating and horrible, but you'll pull through, and be even stronger because of it. If you have any other questions about side effects or anything else, I'd be more than happy to talk about my experiences and my friends'/family's experiences and pros/cons more!

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luvinhp89
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Thank you so much acs79 for all of your advice. I'm not sure which anti-depressant they are going to go put me on yet but I'm hoping the one they chose will work for me. My counselor warned me that the medicine shouldn't make me feel sick or feel more depressed. I'm nervous because I want the medicine to work so badly. I feel like I need it in my life to help me move on. I know it's not a magic pill that will fix everything but I'm hoping that once I combine it and counseling I'll be able to find the solace and closure I need to move on.

Right now I'm trying to avoid talking to him or seeing him. Anytime someone brings him up I get upset. Our school lets seniors out in 2 days so he'll be out of my life after Tuesday. I still love him to death but I just need to not see him or talk to him for my own sake.

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acs79
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I think it will be really, really good for you to get away from your ex. Sometimes the best thing to do, really, is just to get away from the bad things in life, rather than thinking that it's braver or stronger to be able to stand being around them.

One of the best things that one of my therapists told me is that depression is really all about control. You and your depression are fighting for control, and even though sometimes the depression will win temporarily, you can take charge of it and win the war. So decide what it is that you want to do with your life, and try not to let your ex and that situation determine it. Even little things can help--reading one book that you've wanted to, or going to a movie that you've wanted to see even if it's by yourself, or reading up on something that you've wanted to learn about or a place where you've wanted to go. Breakups are especially hard, but if you can see the good things in your life aside from your relationship with your ex, and find satisfaction in even the smallest things, then you can start to break the hold that the relationship naturally has on you.

You have to let yourself grieve the end of this relationship. But part of grieving, and putting things in perspective, is moving on and working through things when you're ready.

I'm just rambling ridiculously, again. But one thing I wanted to say is to be patient. Anti-depressants take at least 6 weeks to demonstrate any effect, and even longer to really reach their full potential. But you're making all the right steps, and you'll make it.

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