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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » excessive drinking

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Author Topic: excessive drinking
fonz
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Member # 25706

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Does anyone else feel affected by a friend or family members alcoholism/excessive drinking whatever you want to call it?

Maybe we could all talk?

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Nothing is right, but its perfect

Posts: 78 | From: Inner Sanctum | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
SocialReject
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my oldest brother had been an alcholic since I can remember and I am now 21. One of his gilfriends had a kid by him but because of his drinking he was never allowed aroundthe baby. Well, that baby is now going on 11 and I have only seen him like four times. Because of the way my brother is they think that the rest of the family is like that. We are actually nothing like that. But because of his behavior we are all effected and I almost never get to see my nephew. I know how you feel fonz.

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Are there really people that care, or is it just a game to them?

Posts: 16 | From: Ohio | Registered: Apr 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Lauren-
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Hey fonz, this is an excellent topic!

My dad gets drunk, like, a LOT. He's severely depressed, hates himself and his life, so tries to self-medicate with alcohol and just ends up making himself more miserable by driving the people he loves away.

It gets so hard sometimes, because he's an abusive drunk. He makes terrifying sexual threats and insults to me sometimes ("I'll beat your tits if you don't..", "dirty cocksucker", "get raped") and each time I swear I'll run away somewhere, but I have no place to go that he wouldn't know about, and he's usually in a better mood the next night.

I've just coped through hardening, working when I can hold a job, and slipping down to the coffee place to do homework whenever I can. He likely picks me out because I'm home most frequently, so I'm looking to change that.

It's a difficult sitch, because when he's not drunk he seriously is the most patient, understanding man in the world, and really shows how much he cares, but that's a rare sight.

Anyone else dealing with verbal/physical abuse from an alcoholic?

Posts: 4636 | From: USA/Northern Europe | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
fonz
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"He's severely depressed, hates himself and his life, so tries to self-medicate with alcohol and just ends up making himself more miserable by driving the people he loves away."

thats like a more severe version of my mum since her mother died.its not exactly abuse i get, i just hate living with the disease.

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Nothing is right, but its perfect

Posts: 78 | From: Inner Sanctum | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
nixieGurl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 19081

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I work in a bar, so this is something I see often with families. Sometimes when I get there at 9am there are people lined up at the door waiting to come in and it makes me sick. We have people bring their young kids down to the bar and they are there for hours while their folks get really drunk. So I usually entertain the kids, cook them dinner, drive them home etc. I have reported and banned many of those people from the bar, later to find out nothing happened out of the reports and those kids are sitting outside some other bar. So I really feel for people who live with this in their own homes.
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fonz
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yeah i have a lot of stress in my life between being rejected from my no. 1 college, unexplained seizures, ill family members, school/exam STRESS, parents fighting, other friends who have felt worse and who i have started talking to since the day i was rejected-i was hysterical, it crushed my dreams. i fear i'll bring them down too after they worked so hard to get out of this bleak space. my parent dont get on but i know they do love each other its just the drinking stresses all of us.

i've started to crumble lately-anxiety to crying and hard breathing when stressed, shaking legs and i even cut myself the other day. this will sound stupid but i was so angry and i wanted to piss my parents off make them take my pain seriously. i didnt show them.

please help

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Nothing is right, but its perfect

Posts: 78 | From: Inner Sanctum | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Fonz, have you looked into if there are any ACOA (adult children of alchoholics) meetings in your area?

I've had a lot of friends in my life with alcoholic parents who found those to be a real help.

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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
fonz
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i found alateen meetings near where i live. unfortunately i think they are pretty religious in ethic but i'll go and see if i can put up with it. thanks though [Smile]

Anyone else have anything to share?

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Nothing is right, but its perfect

Posts: 78 | From: Inner Sanctum | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
torchwoodthehub
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when my parents split up my mum turned to drink my father wasnt the nice person to live with. My mum was sucidal and she seemed to find peace at the bottom of a bottle but since he left its stopped but mum become streesed and cranky and not nice person to live with since she cut down but she still drinks some.
As i ve said in an earlier post when i was raped i turned to drink myself i was looking for the peace my mum seemed to find at the bottom
my friends were most affected by this they saaw me with alcohol in my bag at college and me being in the pub in the morning or drinking my weight in alcohol and choking on my sick it was messed up i did dumb things when i was drunk and i never found any peace but it was the looks of digust and pity on my friends faces in recent weeks that has sobered me both figuartly and literally

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sher2007
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I have also dealt with alcoholism in my family as well. My mother was mainly the worst alcoholic in my house because she would drink 3 to 4 pints of Jack Daniels or Rum a day. This alcoholism went on for 10 years or longer. I started experiencing the affects of my mother's alcoholism at the age of 9. This started out with my mother being nice and patient when she was sober but when she was drunk she was very impatient, rude, irritable, annoying and just mean. It got worst as time went on, it got to the point that when she was sober she was just as bad as she was when she was drunk. She was basically just a dry drunk. Not only that,but she became unpredictable and you never know what kind of mood she was going to be in when she was sober because sometimes, she would be okay, sometimes, she would be in one of her moods to snap at me or bitch at me about something, sometimes she would just nag the hell out of me about anything and everything or pick a fight with me. For the most part, I felt as if she used me as her mental slave and her emotional punching bag. This explained the reason why it also got to the point in my teenage years where her and me would get into cursing matches just about every night. Finally, she quit drinking, and things were a little better. For the most part, she was still the most insecure, overbearing, overcontrolling, possessive person, and emotionally messed up person I have ever known. A few years after she stopped drinking, she passed away as a result of complications from her weight. Overall, it was both a relief to me as if a heavy weight has been lifted off my chest but at the same time, it is unfortunate that I did not get to resolve all my resentment issues that I had toward her. Those of you who are having issues with your parents as a result of their alcoholism, I hope it won't too late to resolve your issues with them.
Posts: 6 | From: Kansas City | Registered: May 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
inkfit
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my dad has been an alcoholic for the past ten years and, considering i'm only eighteen, this is how i've always known him. being the most like him behavior wise, i received most of the insults and snarls.

there were and still are times when he's been drinking and he'll say really awful, terrible things to my mother and i and i don't know whether he truly is that bitter or it's just the booze speaking.

after her parents' deaths, my mother mustered up the courage to leave him and, upon our return, he had stopped drinking.

unfortunately, his efforts were half-assed and he's back to drinking. he drives drunk and we can't stop him or he threatens to leave us (he did so on the eve of my birthday).

it's like living with a time-bomb.

i've yet to go to a support group for fear of religious ties. i've stuck to talking to my friends and boyfriend, as we all have been raised an alcoholic parent. it's easier to laugh about bitter remarks than to cry... such is the hardening of a child raised by alcohol.

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almost

Posts: 20 | From: united states | Registered: Nov 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
inkfit
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Member # 35756

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my dad has been an alcoholic for the past ten years and, considering i'm only eighteen, this is how i've always known him. being the most like him behavior wise, i received most of the insults and snarls.

there were and still are times when he's been drinking and he'll say really awful, terrible things to my mother and i and i don't know whether he truly is that bitter or it's just the booze speaking.

after her parents' deaths, my mother mustered up the courage to leave him and, upon our return, he had stopped drinking.

unfortunately, his efforts were half-assed and he's back to drinking. he drives drunk and we can't stop him or he threatens to leave us (he did so on the eve of my birthday).

it's like living with a time-bomb.

i've yet to go to a support group for fear of religious ties. i've stuck to talking to my friends and boyfriend, as we all have been raised an alcoholic parent. it's easier to laugh about bitter remarks than to cry... such is the hardening of a child raised by alcohol.

--------------------
almost

Posts: 20 | From: united states | Registered: Nov 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
inkfit
Neophyte
Member # 35756

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my dad has been an alcoholic for the past ten years and, considering i'm only eighteen, this is how i've always known him. being the most like him behavior wise, i received most of the insults and snarls.

there were and still are times when he's been drinking and he'll say really awful, terrible things to my mother and i and i don't know whether he truly is that bitter or it's just the booze speaking.

after her parents' deaths, my mother mustered up the courage to leave him and, upon our return, he had stopped drinking.

unfortunately, his efforts were half-assed and he's back to drinking. he drives drunk and we can't stop him or he threatens to leave us (he did so on the eve of my birthday).

it's like living with a time-bomb.

i've yet to go to a support group for fear of religious ties. i've stuck to talking to my friends and boyfriend, as we all have been raised an alcoholic parent. it's easier to laugh about bitter remarks than to cry... such is the hardening of a child raised by alcohol.

--------------------
almost

Posts: 20 | From: united states | Registered: Nov 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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