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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Anger Management

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Author Topic: Anger Management
Wise Janet Weiss
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Sometimes, I get set off by thwe tiniest thing, like my cat knocking over her water, the computer acting funky. Sometimes(most of the time) It's random. I get reaally angry and hit the closest thing.

I've been close to cutting, but really only giving myself nicks before I don't have the guts to slit.

And after an episode, I get scared, scared of what I'm doing and when another episode is gonna happen.

I'm usualy alone when this happens, no one knows I have these "episodes".

Is there like something I can do, or like a 5 step read-up I can find online?

Posts: 320 | From: South of something. | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
cool87
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Is that something that happens to you often Tuxy ? How long has it been going on ? Is it new ? If so, did something important happened in your life lately ?

I think we all have some moments, be it few times a month or so, when we are angry. But it shouldn't be too often and we should be able to control ourselves. Thinking about cutting yourself or hitting things too much when it happens is no good, nor does being angry over small little things almost every day is.

So if that's the case and it has been going on for some time now, then I guess something might be going on and seeing a counselor (like a school counselor) about it might help. Is that something you've done, hun ? He/she could for example help you find ways to control your anger when faced with those episodes and find the reason why you might be experiencing those in the first place, if there is a particular reason for that matter.

Also, I'm thinking : have you ever tried doing breathing techniques, exercices such as going to take a walk or doing stuff like that when those ''anger episodes'' kicks in ? If so, does that change something, does it help ?

[ 04-22-2007, 12:40 PM: Message edited by: cool87 ]

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Posts: 3598 | From: Canada | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Wise Janet Weiss
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This kinda happens every night, when I'm usually alone.

It's been going on for about 4 months,and I kinds stopped talking to people around that time. And I'm homeschooled, but I don't really talk to my grandparents at all. And if I told someone face-to-face, I'd be afraid of being telling to much.

Usually I hit something THEN find something to keep my hands busy with, like stirring soup or whatever. It just helps me from hitting MORE things.

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cool87
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Yeah, it's definatly not something that is easy to deal with that's why I suggested counseling, for you to get more help with it. Plus, in situations like that, trying to find the reason why you may experience those anger episodes and determining whether those are pathological or not isn't often this easy.

You said you kinda stopped talking to people since about 4 months. Can I know why ? Maybe it doesn't have anything to do with your anger but anyway I was just wondering why.

And, have you been under a lot of stress lately ? Nothing special happened around four months ago or a little before, are you sure ? Anything special's going on in your mind at night before and when those episodes kicks in ?

Let's answer those questions first and, as for me, I'll go take a look at your history to see if I can find something in there. [Smile]

[ 04-22-2007, 01:20 PM: Message edited by: cool87 ]

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Wise Janet Weiss
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Because I got sucked in by a chatroom, and didn't want to talk to anybody. People just bothered me then, and I just wanted to be alone.

I don't really get enough sleep, I lay in bed and write for hours until I'm tired. It's just really screwed up.

Ok. [Smile]

[ 04-22-2007, 01:22 PM: Message edited by: Tuxy ]

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cool87
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I'll try my best to help you there and maybe make this a little more clear for us both. Don't know where this will all lead but I can always try to help with the best of my knowledge I got in that field ok ? But I'm not a psychiatrist or psychologist by any means.

I still think you should go see a counseler though. Is that something you've been thinking of doing ?

Sometimes stress can definatly induces anger more easily. How many hours of sleep you get per night approximatly ? And have your sleep always been like that or did it all begun around 4 months ago too ?

And why did you say it's all screwed up hun ? What makes you think that : your lack of sleep and your anger ''attacks ''?

BTW, I didn't really get the answers to my last questions. So are you up to answer them ?

[ 04-22-2007, 01:40 PM: Message edited by: cool87 ]

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Wise Janet Weiss
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Thats Ok.

I've been thinking about going to a counseler.
My sleep's always been like that, and I get 4-6 hours of sleep usualy.

Before, I'm reading/trying to sleep/or on the computer when the episodes happen, so I'm thinking about anything.

To be honest, I can't remember what happened four months ago. I'll check my diaries, etc.
And there's nothing stressfull, school, eccentric family, the usual.

Thank you.

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cool87
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Well maybe nothing happened four months ago. Maybe you don't remember or maybe there wasn't anything special at all. If you don't remember, probably there isn't and there doesn't have to be.

I asked that since your anger attacks started by this time and that could have maybe explained those in part. But if there isn't anything there, it's cool.

quote:
I've been thinking about going to a counseler.
Yeah, that's probably the best thing to do here I think as I said.

Feel free to post thing here though if you find anything that might help us understand more. I'll try to think about it too but it's a lot tricky for me and might imply me knowing about your history and all since this could all be linked to your family dynamics, things that happened earlier in your life, your personnality which is hard to grasp here from over the net and I think it's out of my competence to do that too at this point.

I think a counselor would be the best bet here especially if your anger is something that bothers you (which I get might be right or you wouldn't have posted about it here, am I right ?)and can't really be explained and you have problems managing it.

But, hey, who knows ? maybe some other people here might know more about that than me and could offer you some other suggestions and tips ...

[ 04-22-2007, 02:19 PM: Message edited by: cool87 ]

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Wise Janet Weiss
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(I didn't get anywhere with English in school, so forgive me if this is 'scattered')

Counseler, as you said, would be the best thing, but there are no counselers here and if there was, after a session they'd tell my grandma, then my grandma'd ask ME why I don't tell HER about this stuff.

And yea, you're right, it bothers me, but I haven't had an attack since my grandparents came back/since I'm starting to hang out with people again.

But it kinda bothers me about how my dad might not be dad, or how it wsouldn't be a good idea to find him. My bio mother is 'busy' finding abother women beater/doing another show/or hunting me down to be her live Barbie doll/babysitter. Minor details, but I think it's kinda the problem.

But thanks for your help cool :D Haven't had an attack in 3 days.

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cool87
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(Hey, french native speaker here, so no excuse ! [Smile] I know I make lots of mistakes myself too.)

I'm glad things seemed to have gotten better Tuxy. It's awesome to hear.

I know what you are going through, especially the situation with your family and all, is far from easy to deal with. It's totally understandable.

If there is anything you wanna talk about, be it about your family or other things, I'm all here to listen and will do my best to try to help you.

(And, thanks for the little update btw ! [Smile] )

(I'm a bit shocked too to hear there is no counselor at all where you live. Are you going to school ? Isn't there at least a school counselor or something like that ? A psychologist ? And btw, counselors have confidentiality agreement and so they shouldn't tell your grandma that you've met them and they shouldn't tell her about your situation either unless you ask them too)

[ 04-26-2007, 06:29 PM: Message edited by: cool87 ]

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Wise Janet Weiss
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I'm homeschooled so the only 'counselers' would be my grandma. And I live on a boat in a marina, so we travel alot, and as it turns out, not alot of counseler's retire to Central America.

Have now gone about a week without an attack, so it's good for now.

:D thanks cool.

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