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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Shootings at Virginia Tech

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Author Topic: Shootings at Virginia Tech
luvinhp89
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I live one town over from Blacksburg, VA, where the shootings at Virginia Tech took place. Both of my parents work at the college. This tragedy has effected my life tremendously. I knew several people involved in the shootings, and I'm honestly scared to go to school. I mean, this psycho was 20 minutes away from my home. I feel so overwhelmed and nervous and I just don't know what to do.
Posts: 95 | From: Virginia | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Luvin, I'm sorry for whatever losses you suffered, and for those around you.

And I hear you with being scared. Probably, this may come out sounding like less of a comfort, but the hard truth is that there are people like this, who do things like this great and small (however small we can consider any violence done to another person) everywhere. Really, no one is insulated from things like this, it's just that when they happen to us or close to us, it often shows up how unsafe we can be if we weren't aware of it before.

Often, communities where mass tragedy like this take place do a very good job of organizing community support groups, so I'd encourage you to look into what's around and avail yourself of those supports and services as needed.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
LucysDiamonds
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Hey luvinhp - I have a lot of friends at VTech, being from Northern VA myself, and although I'm at college pretty far away, I was still sitting here at my computer in total shock when I heard about it. I've managed to get through to all my close friends there to make sure they're okay, but I'm still shaken up. I know I can't possibly know what you're going through, since you were so close to this, but if you want to talk about anything, I'm here.

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Here's a link that may be helpful for you who are having trouble with this, were close to this (or the unfortunate other events like this), or for those you may be giving support to: http://www.nimh.nih.gov/publicat/violence.cfm

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Gumdrop Girl
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I know it's not much, but I can I offer you an Internet hug? I'm sorry you and all of VTech and all of those involved ever had to be hurt by something so senselessly cruel. Bless you all. Hope you have the strength to put it to rest soon and move forward.

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JamsessionVT
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I have a good family friend who goes to VTech, too, and he called me this afternoon, pretty freaked out about the whole situation. It's is incredibly tragic, what happened, so I wish the best to him and all you guys down there.

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Abbie
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Posts: 3987 | From: Greater Burlington Area, Vermont | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Beautiful Disaster
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One of my best friends is a freshman at VT, my mom texted me to tell me about the shootings and I freaked. All I knew was that a freshman dorm was attacked, as well as an engineer building. My friend is both a freshman, and takes classes at the building. I'm really upset by the tragedy as well, but I'm just so grateful that DJ's okay.

Very scary, I live in northern VA and A LOT of kids that I know go to VT. Thankfully, everyone I know is okay.

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Djuna
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Internet hugs from me too, Luvin. [Big Grin]
On a personal note, even before this I had a recurring daymare (if that's a word) that a gunman would come to my school, and it worked out that I was standing behind him (or her, I guess) or something, and it was up to me to stop them.
In fact I just did a video blog on that theme at the weekend, about 'what if this happens on Monday...' a kind of 'things to do today in case i die tomorrow' thing.
And then this DID happen on Monday, and I've been really freaking out about it. I'm not going crazy or anything, it's just a nagging worry that won't leave me alone.

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In a strange room, before you are emptied for sleep, what are you. And when you are filled with sleep you never were. I dont know what I am. I dont know if I am or not... how often have I lain beneath rain on a strange roof, thinking of home.

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Djuna
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(Just realised I didn't actually ask anything then).
So, erm... what should I do? Normally I'm a rational person, but I guess in a way that's the problem. This is a plausible scenario, so I can't rationalize my way out of it.

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In a strange room, before you are emptied for sleep, what are you. And when you are filled with sleep you never were. I dont know what I am. I dont know if I am or not... how often have I lain beneath rain on a strange roof, thinking of home.

Posts: 1269 | From: London, UK | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
orca
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I have anxiety disorder to begin with, so it's only natural I would feel this way. Since the shooting I've been a bit wary in my classes, making sure I sit near the back door to escape, eyeing each of my classmates to see if they might be crazy, and watching anyone that passes the doors. It's even worse because I suspect this guy on campus of stalking me and he has a very peculiar personality, he seems like he could snap at any time. My classes are almost over though (this week I'm done [Smile] ) so I'm just taking it each day at a time and remembering to breathe. I can't report the guy for stalking either because it could just be coincidence. I mean, what does stalking look like?
Does anyone have any suggestions on what I should do to cope?

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Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

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jas72
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Aw I'm so sorry. [Frown]
I know how you feel a little bit.. I'm from Virginia and I'm a college student. I go to school in NC but I have a ton of friends at Virginia Tech and its really scary. I had to go through my phonebook and facebook alll day monday to make sure all of my friends were okay. It was really stressful. No one I knew personally got hurt, but one of my best friends' friends was shot and killed and shes having a really hard time right now and its affecting me too.

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Pretzel: have you taken advantage of any support groups and services the school has to offer?

As well, have you filed a report about the stalking? Even if it just looks like coincidence, it doesn't hurt to be cautious.

In terms of what stalking looks like, that would include things like consistently contacting you in person, email or phone, despite your asking not to be contacted, like someone showing up everywhere you go when again, you've asked for non-contact, etc. It can also include slander about you to others, and so forth.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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orca
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jas72,
I'm sorry for your friend's loss. I hope she feels better and can find some comfort and safety. Fortunately summer is here so maybe you two can spend some quality time together and work on the grieving process.

Heather,
Well, I spoke to a woman in the school's clinic about it, but she said that I should look up what stalking is online (she didn't even provide information!) and tell him to leave me alone before I can report it. Then if he doesn't leave me alone, I should come back.

I don't really want to go to a support group at school (I'm not even sure if they have one) because I'm worried about how that would make me look to other students. I don't want to be so vulnerable in front of other students when I would have no anonymity. I have a history of depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and ocd and I don't want that to come out at school because then people might think I'm crazy or something or at least weak. I've always been very sensitive about it.

I guess I should be a bit more detailed about the guy that I suspect of stalking me. Well, I go to a private college, so the campus is pretty small. I mean, it's possible to just run into people a lot. The thing is, I don't have any classes with this guy and he's not even the same year as me, so that's what makes it weird. He came up to me one day when I was at lunch and asked to sit with me. I didn't think anything of it, so I said ok. I talked to him a bit, making sure to mention I had a boyfriend, but the guy was just weird. His personality was very peculiar, not one I'd seen before, and sometimes that's a bad sign. I'm a sociology major with some psychology mixed in so I study people a lot and I know different types of personalities, but his was very unusual and to be quite honest, it scared me a bit. He just seemed...off. So I hurried up with my lunch and made my excuses to get out of there. Well, after that I started noticing him all over campus. In the library, in one of the courtyards, in the campus center, in the cafeteria. I would turn around in the cafeteria and he'd be right behind me. Once, I was wearing a skirt and bent down to tie my shoelaces when I thought no one was around (it was early morning still so people were still asleep). Well, he walks up behind me and stands in front of me, at an angle where he probably could have seen up my skirt (I shudder just to think about it). He starts talking to me and I make it obvious with my manner that I want him to leave me alone but he doesn't go away. I try ignoring him but he doesn't get it, so finally I answer his questions very rudely and I guess he took the hint. So I thought, ok that's it, he won't bother me. Well, maybe a couple days later (I can't remember time very well), he's in the cafeteria again just popping up right behind me. It bothered me so much that I ended up leaving early, before I really finished eating. Before I left he had come up to me and I told him to leave me alone. So I thought that was that. Well, last week he came up to me again in the cafeteria and I told him to leave me alone. His reaction was really weird too, not a reaction I've seen before. It wasn't anger or hurt or anything. I don't know what it was, but it was weird. So then I thought it's done, he won't bother me anymore. But today, I was in one of the courtyards and I got up to leave and what the hell? he walks right by me! What should I do? How do I get this guy to leave me alone?

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Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Posts: 2726 | From: North America | Registered: Apr 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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