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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Teacher Death

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Author Topic: Teacher Death
feefiefofemme
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I did mention this in my Villiage People thread, but I'm posting it here also because I guess I need some support.

I just found out (like, a few minutes ago) that my Biology teacher died on Friday of a heart attack. I'm still pretty much in denial about it; I can't fathom how it could possibly have happened. I didn't even really know him that well, but I did see him nearly every morning for fifty minutes. He was a really vibrant, funny, crazy-lovable guy. I just don't understand. I don't know what to do.

Posts: 406 | From: California | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
JamsessionVT
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It can be hard to fathom why things like this happen, especially when they happen to good people.

Does your school offer grief counseling, or are they planning on it? During times such as these, you are certainly not the only one feeling this way, and it may take some time before things settle. Talking to a counselor, friend, or other faculty member may help you feel better.

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Abbie
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feefiefofemme
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Yeah, they're offering grief counseling all this week. But I feel a little awkward about going. I mean, I'm just not good at talking about things like that. Plus, I don't know. I guess I feel kind of like I'm not entitled to be grieving at all, because like I said, I really didn't know him particularly well. And the whole thing still seems so surreal.
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dailicious
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Oh, sweetie, NEVER feel like you're not entitled to grieve. Death whenever it happens, to whomever it happens, whether they were close to you or not, can be a very difficult thing to face and deal with. Your biology teacher, even if you didn't know him particularly well, still had a role in your life, and you're entirely entitled to be feeling confused/saddened/whatever you may be feeling because of his death.

In my sophomore year of highschool, a Senior student died in a climbing accident. I didn't know him well personally, but I had spoken to him a couple times, and he was just one of those incredibly impactful people full of vitality. When I found out, I sat in my room and just cried. It was such a shock when he died, because he seemed so invincible, so I believe many people who were impacted by his death were so not necessarily because they knew him well or were close to him, but because his death hit so close to home and made everyone have to look at the reality of death.

Everyone processes events and emotions in their own ways, and it's fine if it takes you some time for it to set in, heck sometimes it just doesn't set in entirely after years. So, take your time, and go to the counseling if you'd like to this week, or maybe after you've had a little more time to process this, you may find you want to talk to someone later on, and I'm SURE your school counselors wouldn't turn you away just because you didn't come to talk right after the event.

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Jean
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Ecofem
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To add to dailicious and Jam's excellent points: If you're feeling up to it, you could write a note to his family, who'd surely really appreciate hearing your positive words. It could be short and simple, to use your words even, just: "I didn't even really know him that well, but I did see him nearly every morning for fifty minutes. He was a really vibrant, funny, crazy-lovable guy." [Smile]
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feefiefofemme
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I did think about writing a letter to his family, but had some trouble coming up with something to say. I suppose I might have another go at it, though. It'd be a nice thing to do, for them and for me.
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Ecofem
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Absolutely, BiGoddess! It's better to write something than nothing, and something four sentences long is fine! You can put your draft here if you want some feedback: just set the goal of doing the draft tonight and sending it tomorrow so it's good and done? Suggestion: If you can give a concrete example ("I really enjoyed Mr. ____'s lesson on cell structure where we made an edible cell out of jello, M&M's and twizzlers. It helped me ace the quiz and I'll always think of biology when I make jello.") would be especially nice.

Here are a few example sites:
http://www.wendy.com/letterwriting/condolences.html
http://www.keene.edu/counseling/condolenceletter.cfm
http://xnet.kp.org/permanentejournal/sum03/condolence.html

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