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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » My dads an alcoholic

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Author Topic: My dads an alcoholic
AnimalLover
Neophyte
Member # 30524

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Please help me someone because my dad won't stop drinking. Every night my da drinks and whenever he goes out tho the club he can never have 2 drinks he has to have 3,4,5,6,7 or even 8 and he comes home and makes aload of noise at about 12am. My sister has tried to talk to him but he just ignores her and carries in doing whatever it is dads do. My mum is threatining to have a divorce with him and i don't want them two to split up. What should i do? [Eek!]

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***Smile and the world will smile with you!***

Posts: 26 | From: England | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Lauren-
Activist
Member # 25983

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Your dad's drinking is something that is not in your control. I have an alcoholic father as well, and no amount of reasoning has reached his stubborn ears. People who are addicted to any substance have the choice to stop and/or seek professional help; if they can't make that choice for themselves, it's pretty fruitless to try to budge them.

What are you doing to cope? Do you have places you can go when he drinks too much? What about hobbies, friends, etc.

From a glance about, it looks like you have a lot on your plate right now. Between the questioning of your orientation, fear of being watched, and your dad's drinking problem, it looks a lot like you could benefit from counseling or therapy. Is that an option for you?

Posts: 4636 | From: USA/Northern Europe | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
leanmeanrunningmachine
Neophyte
Member # 29939

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My mom is an alcoholic and she has been sober for almost 6 years (that takes a lot and I have so much respect for her). One thing she always tells me is this saying that she learned from AA meetings:
"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,the courage to change the things I can,and the wisdom to know the difference."
She also says:
"Take it one day at a time."

You can get through these times and just remember your not the only one and you can always talk to people about it and you should. If you want to talk to me you can.

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Love is more than just a game for two

Posts: 18 | From: Mass | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Animal, have you looked into whether or not there are any ACOA meetings (for children of alchoholics) near to you?

If you're uncertain, you could call your local hospital and ask.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Shooting For The Stars X
Neophyte
Member # 30871

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My dad is an alcoholic and he drank nearly a bottle of vodka in three days, doesnt matter what time or anything. My parents were divorced about 2 or 3 years ago we tried AA for him but he just skipped it and went to a bar. We tried going with him and hed get up and walk away.

Just find a way to cope.

Posts: 15 | From: Suffolk Virginia | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
tinytinkerbell
Neophyte
Member # 38305

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im 15 and i've never known my dad without a pint in his hand apart from when he needs to drive, then he's sensible about it. and that's pretty often. i have an alcoholic dad who is a coach driver for a living! how much of a contradiction is that!!

he's been drinking for well over 15 years as my two half sisters (the younger of the 2 being 20 years older than me) grew up with him drinking as well. he's 60 now and has diabetes. if he has to go on insulin he will lose his job. he also suffers from depression and is always exshausted. im scared for his health! not to mention the fact that my parents have been on the verge of breaking up for a long time.

everytime he has a day off he starts drinking as soon as he gets up which cn be as early as 9 in the morning! so you can imagine what he's like at 9 in the evening.. he only drinks extra strong larger and has at least 20 pints on a day off. he's made friends with all the people at the local off licence! he doesnt go to the pub which i guess is a good thing, but he drinks at home so i can see the deteriaration of him.

you'd think someone with a daugter (me) who has had to have 2 liver transplants because she was born with a liver disease would be more careful right!? what i also dont get is the fact that he can controll his addiction for his job.. but cant overcome it completely!

i dont let it get in the way of my day to day life, but sometimes i go through phases where i just cant stop crying and hating him, like now, it's 3:40 in the morning!! i know it's a disease, but i just keep losing more and more respect for him.. whenhe asks me to do something, i do it, but i just think to myself, "why should i take orders from someone who cant speak without slurring their words or walk in a straight line?!"

i recommend talking to friends, and luckily i have my sisters who have been through the same thing, so they know what to say to help me get through it. Even people who you trust and be there to listen to you helps.

i also think hobbies are great. i love musical theatre, and when im on stage performing... nothing else matters, im just in the moment and loveing it. if you can find something where you can feel like that, stick with it!! it makes you forget about everything that you wish you could change.

sorry for blabbering on lol.. im new to this site xx

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xx audz xx

Posts: 1 | From: England | Registered: May 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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