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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » I just need to get some words out

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Author Topic: I just need to get some words out
Member # 29131

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Hi, I've been reading articles and posts for a while now, but I just felt the need to get stuff off my mind.

I'm 17 and yesterday the first girlfriend I've had, one for 5 months, broke up with me. She said that she still likes me and still cares about me, but that her feelings have changed from the beginning. I thought that it might've been for various reasons.

We're both seniors in high school and were taking AP courses. And with those tests coming up her parents restricted her from seeing me. Afterwards Prom felt kinda weird, because It had been so long since we hung out, and we were so stressed. After that we hung out again one day and she felt guilty about it afterwards for some reason.

Soon after she fell sick from something unknown and we didnt get to see each other for 2 weeks, by now it had been a month since we had any private time together to just cuddle, hug, and talk. Our relationship had a huge online factor, since neither of us liked to talk on the phone and all, and I would talk to her everyday online. And we had a few arguements, which is completely out of BOTH of our passive natures.

She said that she was beginning to feel different, and I said that it might've been because we havent been together in so long, so I suggestted that we at least try to hang out one more time to see how that went. And yesterday when I saw her in school, she just decided that it was enough and that her feelings had changed for me, but that she still really cared about me and wanted to be friends.

I just wanted to get this open and out and ask for your comments on her behavior, and my behavior as well. Maybe then I can understand this all, because it's still hitting me really hard.

Posts: 5 | From: Virginia | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
oOo Lea oOo
Member # 26647

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Break-ups are harsh, and they totally suck, but they happen to the best of us.

Right now you are hurting, so maybe it would be a good idea to take some space away from her. Sort out your feelings, and let her do the same. Give yourself as much time as you need.

Once you clear the clutter in your head, and spend some time trying to figure your feelings out, you can talk to her and decide if you would like to be friends.

If being friends is too hard for you right now, that's perfectly fine, and normal.

You can pull through it. Loosing a first love is hard, but it will get easier.

* * By the way, Welcome to Scarleteen!!! [Wink]

[ 05-31-2006, 09:48 AM: Message edited by: oOo Lea oOo ]

And I say thank you for the scars
And the guilt and the pain
Every tear I've never cried
Has sealed your fate.
Did you take me for a fool
or were you just too blind to see
that every effort made has failed
and there is no destroying me?

Posts: 366 | From: West Virginia | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 29931

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god I hate getting dumped
dont worry, i know youre pain, I've been dumped in many awful ways
-got asked out on valentines day and dumped 2 days later
-lost my virginity to the guy and got dumped a week later
-got dumped after a month and everything was going fine but he went on a date with his old love that he still loved and dumped me for her and that one still stings ALOT

sometimes you just gotta feel that burn cause thats all you can do
i'm dating a wonderful guy now so dont worry I wasnt destroyed by it and you wont be either, everyone has to move on sometime but right now is not the time right now youre definetly allowed to mope

Posts: 29 | From: usa | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 30139

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getting" dumped" is a way of growing up and moving on to better things (in your case, better people) sometimes people just stay with people all for the wrong reasons and you surely didnt want that to happen.. Everyone needs to be with someone that feels the same way in return..Life is to short to sit and wait on someone else to make up their minds or find their hearts.. you have been through something that almost everyone has been through and you will get stronger as each day passes. you really need to find new friends, get out and do not look for a rebound so soon. Just date others and try not to commit yourself to anyone soon afterward the break-up; this will almost always end in another heart break and you dont want to go through that now> the ole' saying stands to true if you really watch it...If you love someone, set them free, if they come back to you, they are your's and if they dont, it wasnt meant to be"....just allow this person time to do what they want, and in the mean time,be yourself and have fun, enjoy life and do not sit around and listen to depressing music.. this will make matters worsen during the healing process... Love hurts in all ways, but the healing makes up for that because you grow in more ways than one.. you will have a different outlook on relationships and perhaps p be more apt to not open your heart as quickly. Do not let this failed relationship keep you from "LIVING" and finding someone suitable for you... Remember, there is someone for everyone and you will be on your way to finding just that in the long run..Goodluck


Posts: 37 | From: Alabama | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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