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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » not again :(

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Author Topic: not again :(
nixieGurl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 19081

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hey,

I am in need of some support again [Frown] I talked to to somebody about my options in regards to my dads friend who hurt me. I have decided not to tell on him right now, I just cant at the moment, its too difficult for me. I have not been doing any better, in fact i havnt been doing very well at all.

I have been waking up at least twice a night and i feel gross and have to go and take a shower. I need to go to the gyn because my periods have stopped. But im too scared to go in case i freak out. I freaked out totally just because one of my guy friends came up behind me and gave me a hug. Its all so stupid. I just dont know if i can keep living through this. I have talked to someone, ive tried keeping busy, staying with friends, all sorts of things. I just feel stupid.

Does anyone have any advice as to what to do when i go to the gyn, because I know i will totally freak and im really really scared to go in case i get hurt or i freak out. And I really need to go to the gyn because My periods went really wierd after I got hit in the tummy and then stopped and i have had really bad pain. I do usually have alot of pain with thm anyway but its been worse. Im just frightened and i know i have to go [Frown] Thanks for any advice!!

nixieGurl

Posts: 657 | From: NZ | Registered: Jul 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ecofem
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Member # 13388

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As for going to the gynecologist, you can absolutely tell the person that you are a victim of sexual trauma and say are worried you are going to suddenly panic. I wasn't sure if you're seeing a counselor? Could s/he recommend a gynecologist experienced with this, who'd know how to go about this well? And if you go somewhere and don't feel comfortable, you absolutely can get up and leave, too.

You're under a huge amount of stress for a burden that isn't your fault and that you shouldn't have to keep to yourself. That might explain the missing periods, but getting it checked out is important. You are not stupid for feeling this way!! I know you've mentioned that it'd be hard to leave your town and situation, but I would really, really, really look into finding ways to get out of there. School, family, etc. are all important, but your personal well-being is most important of all.... I know we've been saying this to you a lot, and it's easier said than done, but are there any little steps of getting away that you could do or we could help you with?

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nixieGurl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 19081

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I cant leave, and I cant tell, so the best I can do right now is just try to be normal again. Its just really really tough. I made an appointment with the gyn, for this afternoon. Im really nervous. I have been before and everything, but im scared she will ask about the cuts on my legs and stuff. And I dont want to freak out, my mum goes to the same gyn, what if she mentions it to her? I dont knwo what I would do then. So anyway, Im going today, I will let you know how it all goes, Im feeling sick just writing about it [Frown]
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LilBlueSmurf
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1207

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I'm glad you made the appt with your GYN. Make sure you tell both the GYN and the nurse that you're a survivor of sexual assault and tell them of your concerns. Ask them to explain everything they're going to do, and to let you know ahead of time before they do anything. If you do get upset and need a few minutes to redirect your thoughts, let them know. I'm sure they'll be more than okay with this, and be more than happy to help you with it.

They may ask about the cuts on your legs; be honest. There's really very little you can say to a doctor or nurse that will surprise or shock them. As professionals, they'll do their best not to embarass you in any way. They may ask you about or refer you to counseling. It is up to you whether or not you wish to discuss this any further with them.

Your doctor (and nurse, and everyone else in the office) has a responsibility to 'patient confidentiality'. It would be morally wrong, and illegal, for your doctor to discuss anything about you with your mother. Merely mentioning the fact that you'd been there would be inappropriate. So you should have nothing to worry about there.

--------------------
Nursing is a work of heart!
~ unknown

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nixieGurl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 19081

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Hey,

I went to the Gyn, I told them I was nervous and told them what you told me to tell them. And they were really ok with it. And I did ok. Telling them that was the hardest part, after that it wasnt all too bad. She didnt ask me about the cuts either, lucky for me.

Things in my town are not any better unfortunatly. Ive decided to look for a place away from here, but I dont really have any support in doing that. It will be really hard moving out on my own, I can still go to university, in fact I could move closer to there, but would have to change jobs which will be hard. But Im trying my best to work it out. Anyway, Im sorry to ramble again, thanks for being really my only support in this. You dont know how much I appreciate this.

Nixie

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Gwaihir
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Member # 27276

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Hi, Nixie! I've been a longtime reader at this forum but only registered and started posting recently and I just wanted to give you a big "Right on!!" for taking the steps to help heal yourself. You've been through so much rough stuff and it sounds like moving away from that town would be a really good idea. So just keep at it, and I know you've heard this before, but it's important that wherever you move to that you get counseling. Anyway, I wish the best for you and good luck!
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